THE CORSAIR COWBOY

Blackbeard. Calico Jack. William Kidd. Henry Morgan. Basil Hood. These are just a few of the names of infamous cutthroat captains who terrorized the seas during the golden age of piracy.

Uh, wait a minute--perhaps Basil Hood does not truly belong in the pantheon of pirate greats after all. To appreciate Hood's achievements, one must first be aware that despite common tropes in movies and books about buccaneers, these nautical robbers did not confine their plunder merely to gold, silver, jewels, and ransomable noblepersons (in fact, Blackbeard's last haul was a chest of medical supplies for his venereal disease-ridden crew). Any merchantable commodity was fair game, including items such as sugar, lumber, and hides--although precious metals and jewels were of course never rejected should the opportunity to secure them present itself. 

Basil Hood decided to dabble in stealing hides--however, he unfortunately chose to take them while they were still being used by their original owners. In other words, Hood aspired to be a cattle rustler. In 1713, he and his crew went ashore and seized a herd of bovines from some very surprised and unresisting farmers and drove them (the cattle, that is--not the farmers) into the hold of his ship with the intent of transporting and selling them at the next port-of-call.

Unfortunately, had Hook had more experience with cattle, he would have known right off that these were not healthy specimens. Instead, he found himself on a vessel with some very sick cows--cows which manifested their illness both by  constant vomiting and diarrhea. And not just a little vomiting or diarrhea--instead, huge quantities described as being ejected with "volcanic" force. Hood and his crew were suffering similar symptoms after being exposed to the terrible miasma emanating from the hold.

In the midst of all this, a British frigate appeared over the horizon. Normally, pirates did not greet British warships with approbation, as no good could come from such an encounter. However, Hood's crew was in no condition to fight,  and they were warming to the concept of some peaceful time in confinement without the aroma of cow vomit and feces--even with the knowledge that said confinement would ultimately be terminated by the hangman's noose. Consequently, Hood surrendered his crew and ship. Well, at least he tried to. Once the fastidious frigate commander got upwind of the stench radiating from the festering vessel, he forwent the aromatic prize, abandoned his pursuit, and turned away. Hood was left to go his merry way and in fact was able eventually to dock and sell the pungent livestock--probably while muttering "enough of this BS."

HOW TO TRANSPORT A GEM

Public Domain from Wickimedia Commons

One of the most famous, if not the most famous, gems in the world is the 45.52 carat purplish-blue Hope Diamond. From the time of its cloudy origins in the 1600s (where it was then part of a larger diamond of about 112 carats) to its transfer in 1958 to the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, DC, the diamond has been possessed by an assortment of thieves, decapitated royalty, unknown individuals, and rich people. Its history, or what is known of it, is available from the Smithsonian.

It is not an inexpensive stone. It is probably worth about $350 million today. It was donated to the Smithsonian by New York jeweler Harry Winston. Winston did not employ a cadre of armed guards and an armored truck to transport the jewel from New York to its new home in the museum. He merely put it in a box wrapped with brown paper and sent it by registered mail (without even a specific street address), although he did take the precaution of stamping the package "fragile" and insuring it for $1 million.

Rumors abound about the stone being cursed and inflicting horrible consequences on anyone who handles it. Many of these tales no doubt were inspired by the desire of its various owners to inflate its notoriety and consequently its value, although two of these owners--King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette--probably would not gainsay the possibility that the stone was a conduit of misfortune. At any rate, the curse apparently ran out once the diamond was donated to the Smithsonian, as the Hope Diamond has been one of its star attractions for decades and has enticed many visitors to come to the museum.

THE AMBIGUOUS AMPHICAR

What drives like a car, cruises like a boat, but does neither all that well? If you looked at the title of this factoid, you probably were able to guess correctly "the Amphicar."

The Amphicar Model 770 was a German-made vehicle marketed between 1961 and 1968. Only 3,878 were manufactured. It was a convertible automobile powered by a mighty Triumph 1147 cc, 43 bhp 4-cylinder engine (the engine displacement was eventually modestly increased, yielding 75 bhp). However, unlike other convertibles, you could drive the car straight into the water, engage two propellers in the rear, and use it as a boat. 

Performance as a car was lackadaisical, with a top speed of 70 MPH. The speed as a boat was a leisurely 7 knots. The steering in the boat was not very responsive, as the front wheels served as the only rudder. As a watercraft, it was subject to additional legal requirements such as having registration numbers painted on the side and Coast Guard mandated lights and flags. After each session in the drink, the vehicle required the the greasing at 13 different points and the removal of the rear seat to be able to access all of them. 

Why would anyone buy such a contraption? Well, duh, because they were fun! And probably no one had more fun with an Amphicar than President Lyndon Johnson. Johnson loved to take unsuspecting dignitaries for a ride in the car at his ranch, approach a curve by a lake, yell "Oh #%^&, the brakes are gone!" and then go plummeting into the water while his guests screamed in horror.

Those who are currently blessed by possessing an Amphicar can attend "swim-ins" held throughout the warmer months at various locations in the USA. If you want the Amphicar experience without the headaches of owning and maintaining one, Walt Disney Springs in Orlando will provide you and two others in your group with a ride in a modified version for $125.

I, Dontworry, CC BY-SA 3.0 <http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/>, via Wikimedia Commons

ANOTHER CRITTER WHO SLEEPS WHEREVER IT WANTS

By John Megahan [CC BY 2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons

The biggest and one of the most baddest birds of all time was the wingless moa from New Zealand. Several species existed; the largest was 13 feet tall, resembled an ostrich on steroids, and weighed over 700 pounds. An unarmed human was no match for it.

However, one bird that was even baddester than the moa was the Haast's eagle--the largest eagle in the world.  It was also from New Zealand. The Haast's eagle had moas for breakfast--literally. The Haast's eagle would plummet from a high altitude with the same force as a cinder block falling from an eight-story building, crash into the side of a moa with his talons extended, and then leisurely eat his victim on the ground. Since there was no other creature around foolish enought to tackle a Haast's eagle, this foul fowl did not have to fly away with his prey in order to have a quiet, peaceful meal.

When the Maori tribe settled New Zealand around the 1400s, the supply of moas was drastically reduced both as a result of the skilled hunting* by the humans and the destruction of moa eggs by the livestock which accompanied the Maori. The Haast's eagle population dwindled due to the lack of moas, notwithstanding the fact that the eagles did attack and kill people when moas were not readily available.

Both the moa and Haast's eagle probably became extinct between 1400 and 1800. I use the term "probably" due to the fact that rumors of recent sightings of both species in remote areas of New Zealand still tantalize cryptozoologists.

For a colorful and profane in-depth analysis revealing why Haast's eagles, even if not extinct, nonetheless probably would not replace parakeets in pet stores, please see this delightful website--Badass of the Week.

Oh, by the way, when looking at the picture at the top of this factoid, please remember that the moas running on the ground are substantially taller than any human.

*The skilled hunting included tossing a red-hot rock at the moa, who would ingest it and roast itself internally.  Remember, I said that moas were big. I did not say that they were intelligent.

THE PUBLIC SERVICE OF DR. KELLOGG

Corn flakes were first marketed in 1894 by Dr. John Kellogg--primarily for altruistic reasons.  Kellogg was a fervent opponent of masturbation and strongly believed that it was the cause of almost all medical and social ills which inflicted mankind. He thought that the regular eating of corn flakes would lower the sex drive of the consumer and result in a reduction of the hated practice. 

For more information on the medical philosophy of Dr. Kellogg and other modes of treatment he advocated when the corn flakes didn't work, click here for an insightful article on the subject by mental_floss.

View image | gettyimages.com

(Well, just what kind of picture did you think I was going to use to illustrate this factoid?)

MARKETING IS EVERYTHING

Jens Cederskjold, CC BY 3.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0>,via Wikimedia Commons

In 1961, artist Piero Manzoni produced 90 tin cans with each containing thirty grams of his own feces and offered them for sale for an equivalent weight in gold. This was actually quite a bargain, because the Tate Museum in London purchased one can in 2002 for 22,400 pounds, and other cans have sold in 2007 for 124,000 euros, in 2008 for 97,250 pounds, and in 2015 for 182,500 pounds.

Manzoni stated that his work was inspired by his father, who purportedly told him that "your art is s---." 

One acquaintance of the artist now claims that the whole project was a fraud and that the cans contain plaster instead of pure excrement. So far, no one has tested this assertion by opening one of the cans and destroying, in the process, hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of art. Other collectors have indicated that some of their cans have exploded over time and that there is no doubt that they had contained the real thing.

CASTOREUM--OUR FRIEND THE BEAVER

Steve from Washington, DC, USA, CC BY-SA 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

Castoreum, as the term is used by zoologists, refers to a mixture of beaver urine and the yellow secretion of scent sacs found between the anus and genitals of the adult beaver. Beavers use the substance to mark their territories.

Castoreum, when used for industrial applications, usually has the urine eliminated (so to speak) and just consists of the contents of the scent sacs. 

One of the major purchasers of castoreum is food manufacturers, who use it as a flavor additive for, among other things, vanilla ice cream and raspberry candies and pastries. It is often found in the list of ingredients as "natural flavoring."

I for one am trying to envision the circumstances which led to the happy discovery for this particular use of the product. "Hey Darrell, come take a lick down here right at the base of the tail. It tastes just like vanilla ice cream!"