Wednesday, December 24, 2014

THE CHRISTMAS TRUCE

At Flanders Fields in Belgium one hundred years ago in December of 1914, German troops were bogged down in trenches as close as sixty yards to British forces (along with some French and Belgian) in their own trenches. The fighting was fierce. Pope Benedict XV proposed a truce for Christmas day, but leaders from both sides roundly rejected the idea as absolutely impossible.

On Christmas Eve, the Germans started erecting miniature trees on the top of the trenches and singing carols. The British initially fired on some of the trees, but then held back to see what happened next. The Germans then propped up handwritten signs along the order of "YOU DON'T SHOOT; WE DON'T SHOOT." Eventually, both sides crawled out of their trenches, exchanged gifts and meals, buried their dead, and played soccer.

The German and British brass were incensed by this conduct and ordered their men to start fighting again. The soldiers did so in a desultory, token manner by occasionally firing rifle rounds into the air. Finally, the officers started threatening court-martials with severe penalties if the carnage did not resume, and, right around New Year's (and unfortunately, perhaps earlier in some parts of the lines), the combatants reluctantly shook hands and returned to their respective trenches to "sing a slaying song tonight" and get back to their killing.

Attempts to repeat the Christmas Truce in the subsequent years of the war failed miserably.

For an extraordinarily well-researched and thorough examination of the Christmas Truce, go to the Operation Plum Puddings website.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

ZOMBIE CHICKENS


In 2006, Petaluma, California survived an invasion of zombie chickens. The hens involved had reached menopause and were no longer laying eggs. They were humanely(?) euthanized by suffocating them in a box filled with carbon dioxide and then buried in a landfill.  

Citizens were shocked later to see brain-damaged chickens dig themselves out of their landfill graves and stagger around, well, like zombies.

The Pentagon actually has a detailed plan ("CONOP 8888") on how it should respond should there ever be a zombie epidemic. One of the contingencies addressed is specifically that of "CZs" ("chicken zombies").

Parenthetically, "zombies" actually refers to dead persons who are raised from the grave by practitioners of Caribbean voodoo and are under the control of a live human.* They on their own are very placid. The aggressive cannibalistic walking dead which have been a staple of movies since 1968 are technically "flesh-eating ghouls" (which is actually somewhat redundant, as ghouls traditionally are flesh-eaters by definition).

*Watch this video link to hear what Bob Hope compared to zombies.