THE PATHOS OF POSTMORTEM PORTRAITURE

Photography for most of the 19th Century was an extremely cumbersome process involving long exposure times and complicated and bulky equipment both for taking and developing the picture. Most people were rarely photographed and then on only special occasions. One such occasion was that of death.

In both America and Europe, it was a once a common practice for the grieving family members of a decedent to commission a professional photographer to take a picture of the freshly departed. Often, the subject would be dressed and posed (with varying degrees of success) in such a fashion that he or she would still appear to be alive. Even more sadly, other family members frequently would appear in the photo at the same time, and it would not be unusual to have a portrait of children sitting on a couch with their dead sibling or a picture of parents holding their lifeless infant.

It is not hard to understand why family members would submit to such a heartbreaking experience as posing for hours with their deceased child or other relative for a photograph. In many cases, the postmortem photo would be the only picture they would have of their loved one, especially if the subject was a baby.

Once the box camera was introduced in 1885 and ordinary people could take snapshots at home without elaborate equipment, families were able to accumulate pictures of relatives under more joyous circumstances. As a result, the concept of formal postmortem photography eventually happily fell by the wayside for most of the world, although it is still practiced in parts of Eastern Europe.

If you wish to see more examples of postmortem photos or just simply feel like getting depressed, click here. If you are really obsessed with the topic, join the Thanatos Archive.

#332--THE URSINE ARTILLERY UTILITY

Wojtek as a youth

In general, 1939 was a bad year for the Poles, with Germany eviscerating them on the west and the USSR disemboweling them on the east. In the east, those Polish troops who survived both the initial battles as well as the subsequent genocide were shipped off to gulags in Siberia.

Once Hitler betrayed Stalin and attacked Russia in 1941, the Russians suddenly decided that the Poles weren't so bad after all and determined that they were suitable for use as cannon fodder against the Germans. Inexplicably, however, most of the Poles who had been previously imprisoned by the Soviet Union had limited enthusiasm for fighting for that country. These malcontents were generally shipped to Iran where they were allowed to join the British Army.

While in Iran, members of the Polish 22nd Transport Artillery Supply Company encountered a young lad who was carrying a sack containing a very malnourished brown bear cub. The Polish soldiers purchased the cub and starting fattening him up on a diet whose major component was beer. The bear became the mascot of the company. 

The bear thrived in his new environment and learned to march on two legs with the rest of the troops (or ride in a jeep when motorized transportation was available) and salute officers. He became very fond of smoking cigarettes, guzzling beer, and wrestling with his human companions. He loved hot showers and eventually had to be locked out of the bathhouse because of his skill in manipulating the faucets and turning them on. One day, he sneaked in when someone left the door open and discovered an enemy spy. Rather than negotiate with a 500-pound brown bear, the agent ran out to surrender to the Poles, and the bear received extra beer and cigarettes that evening.

Eventually, the British sent the Poles over to fight in Italy. The Brits initially banned the bear from accompanying the unit, but the Poles formally enlisted the bear and provided him with a serial number. This procedure satisfied the legal technicalities, and the bear went to war.

At the Battle of Monte Cassino, the Poles were sent against hardened German troops who had withstood two prior assaults from other units. The bear observed his human companions lug ammunition up to the guns on the front lines. Thinking that this might be fun, the bear pitched in and worked day and night on his hind legs hauling artillery shells and 100-lb boxes of ammo to the front while totally ignoring the gunfire and sounds of battle. Maybe he wasn't smarter than the average bear after all, but he never dropped a round.  At any rate, the ursine demonstrated that he was truly worthy of the name which had been bestowed upon him during his cubhood--namely, "Wojtek," which means "takes joy in battle."

The Germans, however, probably did not take joy in the battle. You can imagine one demoralized Nazi soldier screaming to another "Hans, what the @#$%? They have @#$%-ing bears fighting for them now?"

After several other bear-attended martial engagements and the end of the war, many of the Poles emigrated to Scotland as an alternative to living in Soviet-dominated Poland (it really was dominated by the Soviets, notwithstanding what Gerald Ford said in 1976). Wojtek spend his remaining years, until his death in 1963, in the Edinburgh Zoo, wrestling with his former war buddies and bumming beers and cigarettes. By all reports, notwithstanding the possible non-compliance with PETA guidelines, Wotjek had a very enjoyable life.

A depiction of him carrying an artillery shell now constitutes the official insignia of the Polish 22nd Artillery. 

You can read more about Wotjek at the delightfully profane Badass of the Week website.

THE AWE-INSPIRING TUCKER TORPEDO

The Tucker Torpedo automobile had many innovative features when it was introduced in 1948 by Preston Tucker, the same guy who invented the ball turret for aircraft. 

The most famous feature was "the Cyclop's eye" third headlight in the center which would swivel to illuminate the road when the car was making a turn. This device was illegal in 17 states, and Tucker made a metal dish to cover the headlight in these jurisdictions.

The car was powered by a flat helicopter engine in the rear. It was designed so that the engine and transmission (known to gearheads as the "drive train") could be removed and replaced in 15 minutes, with the idea that the owner could leave them at the dealer for service while using a loaner engine and transmission.

At a time when safety considerations were totally ignored, the car had seat belts, a frame surrounding the vehicle to protect it in crashes, a padded dash, a windshield designed to pop out in a wreck, a roll bar in the roof, and a special shielded compartment under the dashboard where the occupants of the front seat could leap into and be protected in a crash (how you reconcile this feature with wearing a seat belt is an issue for which I do not have a ready answer).

It had other cute features such as doors which extended into the roof for ease in entering and exiting and a parking brake which you could lock with a key as a theft-protection device. The front and rear seats were intentionally made identical and could be switched with each other to spread out the wear. It had a four-wheel rubber-based independent suspension.

Tucker was also considering magnesium wheels, disc brakes, an automatic transmission, self-sealing tubeless tires, and fuel injection, but these features were dropped from the final product due to cost and lack of time.

The car was extremely streamlined and had a drag coefficient of 0.27, which rivals most vehicles of today and certainly was vastly superior to other cars of its era. The car was originally named the "Tucker Torpedo" but was changed to "Tucker 48" due to the fact that many persons in World War II had unpleasant experiences with torpedoes. However, the "Torpedo" name is the one which stuck in the public's mind.

The company built 51 cars before it was shut down as a result of negative publicity, an SEC investigation, and criminal indictments for fraud against Tucker and his myrmidons. Tucker was eventually exonerated, but the damage had already been done. According to the 1988 movie Tucker: The Man and His Dream, Tucker's legal problems were instigated by the major automobile companies who were afraid of the superiority of his product. I personally gainsay the veracity of this hypothesis, as the established auto companies actually provided assistance to Tucker (for example, all of the steering wheels were surplus donated by Ford to Tucker when Ford no longer needed them for its Lincoln Zephyr production). It also seems illogical that the big car companies, who were still instantly selling every auto they could produce to a public who had been car-starved during World War II, would feel threatened by someone who made only fifty vehicles in a year and who further did not have the ability to purchase steel and other raw materials at the bulk discount prices enjoyed by the major car manufacturers.

With the exception of the first prototype, the Tuckers in fact were extremely well-built and were years ahead of their time. If you had bought one in 1970 for $5,000 and sold it today, you would probably make a profit of $995,000 or even more (in fact, one sold in 2012 for $2.91 million). Most of the cars produced are still in existence.

By Thomas (originally posted to Flickr as Tucker)
[CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)],
 via Wikimedia Commons

THE FELINE PUGILISTIC KINETOGRAPH

Depending on your viewpoint, one of the most delightful or one of the most abhorrent features available on the internet is the plethora of videos of kitties doing cute things. The origins of this controversial practice can be traced back to 1894, when Thomas Edison, in one of his extremely early movies, recorded two cats equipped with boxing gloves duking it out in a ring. Unfortunately, history is silent on which boxer ultimately prevailed, as the film ends before the fight does.

If you wish to see the first cat video ever made, click here. For further information on Edison's early film projects, try this link to Smithsonian Magazine.

THE REDWOOD ANTI-CONFLAGRATION PARADIGM

One immediate consequence of the 1906 earthquake in San Francisco was the outbreak of numerous fires which spread for three days throughout the area. However, the city was spared from being totally consumed by a massive inferno by the fact that some of the buildings were constructed by settlers during the Gold Rush out of redwood trees. While not absolutely fireproof, the redwood's low resin content and porous grain which soaks up moisture makes it much harder to burn than most woods. In all directions of the city, the fires were slowed down and finally conquered whenever they encountered buildings made out of this miraculous timber.

Notwithstanding the above, there was still substantial damage to the area, with approximately 80% of the buildings destroyed. Some of the structures were burned down deliberately by their owners whose property was damaged by the earthquake itself,  as these particular persons had fire insurance but had failed to purchase earthquake coverage.

THE CHICO/PAPAL INTERACTION

One of the things the Emeritus Pope Benedict XVI enjoys most during his retirement is spending quality time with his beloved Chico. Chico is a black and white cat which Benedict had to leave behind in his personal home in Germany when he went to live in Vatican City. Benedict, a devout lover of felines, was informed that no cats were allowed in the Papal Apartments, and he allegedly complied with that regulation.

You would think that if you were asked "Well, who elected YOU Pope?" and you could legitimately respond, "the College of Cardinals," you could keep one lousy little cat around, but apparently you would be wrong.

Chico is actually a replacement Chico. Chico the First was an orange cat who lived in the Pope's hometown and was a friend of the Pope when the Pope was merely Joseph Ratzinger. This Chico allegedly wrote a children's book about the Pope from the viewpoint of a cat, but it is suspected that the real author was Jeanne Perego. Chico the First died after a long happy life of 17 years. 

Rumor also has it that Benedict's relationship with the current Chico cannot be classified as exclusive and that the Holy Father may have had some other feline action on the side, including the winsome Contessina pictured below (who, as you can see, is also black and white).

View image | gettyimages.com

THE DRAGON/PULLET DUALITY

One of the elements in the rightfully-popular HBO series Game of Thrones is a trio of dragons raised by the ambitious butt-kicking female character Daenerys Targaryen, also known appropriately as the "Mother of Dragons." Although I have not read the books upon which the series is based, I feel safe in predicting that ultimately the control of the dragons in this medieval fantasy world will have an impact similar to the advantage Napoleon would have had had he had access to a group of B-52 bombers (wow, see if YOU can make a sentence with that many "hads" so close together).

At the risk of shattering the illusions of viewers of this show, I am hereby revealing that the dramatic dragon sequences contained therein were NOT filmed using real dragons. They are computer graphics. The artists/technicians responsible for the graphics used and manipulated chicken carcasses as the templates and models for the actions performed by the dragons.

View image | gettyimages.com

THE GOBBETS OF FLESH CONUNDRUM

One of the most perverse illnesses to be transmitted by an ectoparasite is vectored by the lone star tick. Specifically, persons who have enjoyed consuming mammalian flesh for decades can, if they had been bitten by a lone star tick weeks or months before, suddenly develop allergic reactions ranging from a mild rash or vomiting to a life-threatening anaphylaxis shock three to six hours after they eat a juicy pork chop, yummy hamburger, or any other delicious red meat. Red meat contains a sugar called alpha-gal, and for some currently unknown reason, the tick bite can provoke a person (or a dog) to develop antibodies against the alpha-gal and suffer an allergic reaction upon chowing down on a succulent porterhouse or the like.

For further information on this weird affliction, please click here.

THE STRAIGHT POOP ABOUT THE PENTAGON

The Pentagon has an inordinately large number of toilet facilities on its premises--about twice that needed for an office facility of its size. And, despite the assertions of various anti-government or anti-military groups, it is not because the occupants of the building are so full of you-know-what. The real reason is far more prosaic.

The construction of the gargantuan complex started on September 11, 1941,* and it was amazingly finished and dedicated by January 15, 1943. It was (and is) located in Virginia. In the early 1940s, Virginia segregation law required that there be provided separate restrooms for "colored" and "white." Whether or not this statute applied to the Pentagon is debatable, in light of the fact that the governor of Virginia had given the War Department exclusive jurisdiction over the property and the additional fact that President Roosevelt had signed an executive order banning discrimination against federal employees on the basis of race, creed, color, or national origin.**

There was no actual debate on the matter, however, as Col. Leslie Groves,*** chief of operations of the construction project, ordered that a s---load of bathrooms be provided in accordance with Virginia segregation policy.

In order to comply both with the dictates of the Colonel and the executive order of the Commander-in-Chief, the final construction of the project included the full panoply of potties; however, the doors of the restrooms were not painted to designate their use by any particular race--although one employee did chalk "colored" and "white" notations on them for a brief period until strongly encouraged to discontinue the practice.

For a more detailed analysis of Pentagon bathroom habits, check out the article in Snopes.

*I do not know whether or not it was coincidence that terrorists tried to destroy the facility exactly sixty years later.

**Actual desegregation of the Armed Forces would have to wait for Harry Truman in 1948.

***In his spare time, Groves was in charge of the Manhattan Project and building the atomic bomb.

By David B. Gleason from Chicago, IL (The Pentagon)
 [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)],
 via Wikimedia Commons

Thanks to Michael Green for the heads up on this factoid!

THE NAUSEATING CONCEPT OF BUSHUSURU

"Bushusuru" is the Japanese term for vomiting in public.  It was introduced into that language after George H. W. Bush became ill at a state dinner in Tokyo in January 11, 1992.

For a video of that embarrassing event, please click here. Why you would want to do so is an entirely different issue altogether.

DID HITLER HAVE A JEWISH ANCESTOR?

Some historians have claimed that Adolf Hitler's father, Alois Hitler, pictured above, was the illegitimate offspring of a maid named Maria Schickelgruber and a Jewish man whose last name was Frankenberger.

DNA studies done in 2010 of 39 living descendents of Alois Hitler reveal that they have a chromosome group called Haplogroup E1b1b1, which is rare among western Europeans but is common in Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews.

Adolf Hitler, if he did have one Jewish grandparent, would have been defined as a Jew under the Nazi racial purity laws and legally would have eligible for the same treatment provided by the Nazis to all other Jews.

Did Adolf Hitler actually have a Jewish grandfather? It certainly appears possible, but we will probably never know for sure. There are certainly other carriers of the Haplogroup E1b1b1 chromosome group who are not of Jewish descent. One of them is pictured below.

View image | gettyimages.com

THE GUY WHO LIKED LUXURY CARS

The Lincoln automobile was created by Henry Leland.

The Cadillac automobile was created by Henry Leland.

View image | gettyimages.com

View image | gettyimages.com