BALLOONING INTERNATIONAL ACRIMONY

At the height of the Cold War*, President Eisenhower authorized "Project Genetrix." Project Genetrix involved the release of weather balloons over the Soviet Union, Eastern Europe, and China which were equipped with cameras which would automatically take photos during the daylight hours. The 200-foot tall balloons normally flew at 50,000 feet (15,000 meters) to 100,000 feet (30,000 meters) high and were generally out of the range of fighter aircraft. They and their photographic treasure trove would be recaptured by specially-equipped US aircraft after the balloons had soared over the enemy country.

The balloons and gondola were very flimsy and invisible to radar. Or so the Americans thought. Unfortunately, one of the steel support rods was 91 centimeters long, which happened to be the same wavelength as a frequency used by Soviet early warning radar. As a result, the balloons popped up on Russian radar screens as conspicuously as Barack Obama at an NRA convention.

The Soviets were very irritated and implemented the usual diplomatic blustering. They also quickly realized that the balloons at sunrise, after a cold night's flight, could be found at a lower altitude within the range of their MiG fighters. As a result, after less than a month, Eisenhower cancelled the project when only 54 out of 516 balloons were able to be retrieved by the Americans. Out of those 54 balloons, only 31 provided usable photos.

The project was not a total bust, however--at least from the viewpoint of the Soviets. Upon recovering the cameras from the balloons that they shot down, they discovered how the Americans had made temperature-resistant film which was also immune to external radiation. This enlightenment resolved a problem the Russians were encountering in designing their space program.

High-altitude reconnaissance by the USA resumed with its U-2 program, which ultimately resulted in its own set of political difficulties.

*From what I can tell, the "height of the Cold War" has been used to refer to virtually any date from the defeat of the Nazis in 1945 to the collapse of the Berlin Wall in 1989. Project Generix ran from January 10, 1956 to February 6, 1956.

THE STELLAR REINFORCEMENT

Many brick or masonry buildings built prior to the 20th century have iron stars or other geometric shapes on the outside walls.  Each device, often called an "anchor plate," is actually a giant washer at the end of a rod which runs through the building and is fastened by another similar plate on the outside wall of the opposite side of the structure.  This rod braces the building and helps prevent it from shifting or collapsing.  These anchoring systems are especially common in towns susceptible to hurricanes or earthquakes, such as Charleston, South Carolina or San Francisco.  In many cases, the systems were installed after a natural disaster struck in order to prevent further movement of an already damaged structure.

By GrammarFascist (Own work)
[CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)],
 via Wikimedia Commons

ERADICATING GARMENT DISTRICT ERETHISM

One of the boons in the 19th century for seamstresses as well as for clothing manufacturers was the invention of the treadle sewing machine--a device similar to modern sewing machines except that it was powered not by electricity but instead by the operator using her foot (or feet) to pump a pedal up and down.

While this made sewing much easier and faster than doing it by hand, it purportedly had a deleterious effect on the operator, as reported in the British Medical Journal on January 12, 1867. According to the author of the article, Dr. Langdon H. Down, MD, seamstresses were being overcome by the various ills associated with masturbation--all as a result of the operator receiving sexual stimulation from her legs rubbing together during the use of the machine. To Dr. Down's credit, he specifically rejected genital mutilation as a cure for this problem. He proposed instead a regimen of pouring cold water on the patient, administering potassium bromide and iron salts, outdoor exercise, and finding a different line of work for the patient in order to combat this serious medical condition.

Perhaps in an effort to circumvent claims under the then new worker's compensation laws, some clothing factories purportedly put bromide in the drinking water of their female employees and hired supervisors to make sure that the seamstresses were not operating their machines "too fast."

By Vincent de Groot - http://www.videgro.net
 (Own work)  via Wikimedia Commons

A DANGLING PROPOSITION

During World War I, blimps would sometimes hide in a cloud and suspend an observer on a rope ladder about 100 feet (30 meters) below outside of the cloud. The observer would have a clear view of enemy activity but would not be nearly as visible as the blimp itself if it was not in the cloud.

You may think that the job of observer would not be highly coveted, but the contrary is true. If the observer was spotted, enemy planes and anti-aircraft guns would concentrate on the blimp as a far more valuable and easily hit target. If the blimp was hit, the observer at least would have a chance of parachuting and escaping death, while his comrades aboard the ship would be instantly engulfed in a ball of hydrogen-fueled flame.

However, the above factors pale in comparison to the real reason why everyone wanted the observer's job. Quite simply, it was the only place that a blimp crewman was allowed to smoke.

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THE "BRING YOUR CHILD TO WORK" PITFALL

You will recall that Ernest Hemingway blew his chances of obtaining the "Father of the Year" Award when he placed his children in harm's way while chasing Nazi U-Boats in his cabin cruiser. Another father who embraced the same laissez-faire philosophy with respect to child endangerment was General Ulysses S. Grant, who, with the blessings of his wife, allowed his 11-year old son Frederick to accompany him on his quest to slaughter Confederates. During one campaign in 1863, Frederick, then at the hoary age of twelve, was shot in the leg and nearly had to have it amputated. As a result, Mama Grant withdrew her consent, and Frederick's military career was put on hold until 1866, when he became a cadet at West Point. 

Frederick eventually achieved the rank of Major General and also served as the Police Commissioner of New York City and Minister to Austria-Hungary. Just like his dad, he died in his early sixties from throat cancer.

For further information on the young Grant's Civil War experiences, click here. For a brief biography of the lesser-known General Grant, click here.

By Bain News Service, publisher, via Wikimedia Commons

THE THUMB WAR

"Vault Boy" poster at video game store

A common rule of thumb (quite literally) in the atomic age involves the calculation of the intensity of a nuclear bomb blast. Specifically, if you stick your arm all of the way out and can cover the image of the mushroom cloud with your thumb, you will be far away from the blast that the heat, shock wave, and fallout, when they eventually arrive, will be too weak to affect you. At least, that is what the theory says.

The rule is also supposed to apply to everyone regardless of body size. For those persons with smaller thumbs, they will also have shorter arms, which means that the thumb will be closer to the eye and its image will effectively cover about the same amount of area as perceived by a larger individual.

The thumb test has been incorporated within the Fallout series of electronic role-playing games featuring a post-apocalyptic society ravaged by nuclear conflict. "Vault Boy," the mascot of the game series (as well as that of "Vault Tec," a corporate entity featured in the games), is often depicted in thumb-up configuration gazing at atomic explosions.

Is there any validity to the rule? The possibility at least exists that it may serve as a rough test for the effect of the shock wave and the heat, although there would still be several variables, such as the size of the bomb, the altitude of detonation, the presence of buildings, and the topography of the area in general. Fallout can travel huge distances over time, and the rule is probably not at all effective for that purpose.

Personally speaking, if I were ever to see a fresh atomic explosion, I will not be standing out in the open gawking at the blast with an upright opposable digit waiting to be shredded by the potential shock wave. I will be rushing instead to get my loved ones behind a concrete wall in the basement, irregardless* of whether or not I can obscure the mushroom cloud with my thumb.

As "irregardless" has been in use for over a century and is found in most dictionaries, it is in fact a word, and it means the same thing as "regardless," just as "inflammable" means the same as "flammable." So get over it.

View image | gettyimages.com

Thanks (or should I say "thumbs up?") to Michael Green for the heads up on this factoid!

THE UNCLEAN ARMADILLO

Armadillos, because of their longevity and low body temperature, are one of the very few animals other than man which can be afflicted with leprosy.  It is estimated that about 5% of armadillos in Texas and Louisiana have the disease.

As of July 22, 2015, nine persons in Florida alone were diagnosed with leprosy, most likely from armadillos, in the preceding seven-month period.

To avoid transmission of leprosy from an armadillo, follow a few basic rules.

1.  Do not eat an armadillo.

2.  Do not have sex with an armadillo.

3.  Do not kiss an armadillo.

4.  Do not share toothbrushes, utensils, or needles with an armadillo.

5.  Do not accept blood transfusions from an armadillo.

6.  Do not get sneezed upon by an armadillo.

It is believed that in most cases, the disease is transmitted to gourmands who violate Rule No. 1 or trappers who violate Rule No. 6.

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THE HIRSUTE EQUATION

Rapunzel's hairy ladder is actually quite plausible, provided that it was long enough. A strand of human hair is strong enough to hold 3.5 ounces. The average princess has 100,000 to 150,000 hairs on her head, which means that a hair rope could possibly support approximately 16 tons without breaking. However, before trying to lift sixteen tons of Number 9 coal with your golden locks, don't forget that it only takes about one ounce to pull a single hair from your scalp. In other words, hoisting anything much over 3 tons will rip your ponytail right out of your scalp. And, parenthetically, if you thereafter gave the hair to someone else, you might even be charged with tress-passing.

The underlying information in this factoid is courtesy of, once again, the delightful publication mental_floss.

View image | gettyimages.com

THE CONTRACTING CEREBRUM CONUNDRUM

Contrary to expectations, the human brain has been shrinking in size over the last 20,000 years.  The average male brain once had a volume of about 1500 cc; however, it is now about 1350 cc--a difference about the size of a tennis ball. Female brains, which were slightly smaller to start with, have also shrunk proportionately.

One theory is that 20,000 years ago, individuals had to be a lot more self-reliant and had to have extra intelligence because no one else would be providing them with food, shelter, medical care, clothes, and protection from predators (trying to avoid being eaten can especially require a lot of thought and concentration). This theory would be consistent with observations about wild animals who have become domesticated, as they almost always evolve to smaller brains after several generations of living off of the largesse of humans. The only flaw with this hypothesis is that although it may explain why not as much intelligence may be needed in modern times and why a smaller brain would be adequate, it does not account for why evolution would affirmatively favor the smaller brain instead of just leaving it at its older larger size.

The second theory is that evolution resulted in the brain of each person developing more slowly than it used to and that a modern brain is simply an old-fashioned juvenile brain which never grew to its full adult potential. It is believed that individuals with full adult brains would have been a lot more aggressive than those with juvenile brains. As societies formed and there was less and less self-reliance and more dependence on the group, aggressive individuals with adult brains who went around committing self-indulgent orgies of rape, murder, and pillaging would be executed by the group and their genetic contributions eliminated.

Under either theory, evolution is favoring the preservation of less intelligent individuals who need to be supported by others and is eschewing smarter individuals who are self-reliant. In other words, no matter how counter-intuitive it may seem, the highest and most-evolved life forms vote for Democrats.

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THE BEAVER/MILKY WAY COMMONALITY

You will recall from a previous factoid that castoreum from beaver anal glands is used to make raspberry flavoring for candy, pastries, and the like. If the thought of using beaver anal secretions in your recipes really, truly, bothers you, then there is another potential source of raspberry flavoring, although it is a little harder to obtain.

Astronomers have been searching the heart of the Milky Way Galaxy with radio telescopes in an attempt to locate amino acids--the basic building blocks of life on earth. While they have not yet found them, they did ascertain that the center of the galaxy contains large amounts of ethyl formate. Ethyl formate is the compound which gives real raspberries their delightful flavor. In addition, if smelled instead of consumed, it has the aroma of rum.

In short, the center of the Milky Way would probably be a delightful place to be, with the flavor of raspberries and the odor of rum. However, it is approximately 100,000 light years, or about 588,000,000,000,000,000 miles (945,000,000,000,000,000 km), away (which is far).

View image | gettyimages.com

THE MASKED MAN CHROMATIC ABERRATION

Everyone knows that the Lone Ranger was supposed to wear an iconic black mask. He actually did so for the last two years that he was on television--1956 and 1957, when the episodes were filmed in color. However, from 1949 through 1955, when the shows were shot in black-and-white, he sported purple face gear. On black-and-white TV, the purple appeared to have been even a blacker black than if an actual black mask had been used.

By Pleasure Island Uploaded by We hope
 at en.wikipedia [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

MARTIALLY INFLUENCED HOROLOGY

Originally, wristwatches were considered extremely effeminate, and no real man would have a timepiece on his body unless it was a turnip-sized pocket watch in his vest pocket. This attitude changed during World War I, where doughboys had their hands full of weapons or other equipment and were too preoccupied to be fumbling in their gear in order to see if it was time to go over the trenches. A photo of an American watch manufactured for this conflict is below.

By Museumsfoto (Deutsches Uhrenmuseum)
 [CC BY 3.0 de (http://creativecommons.org/licenses
/by/3.0/de/deed.en)], via Wikimedia Commons

As we all remember from an earlier factoid, wristwatches were firmly established as de rigueur by the time the Second World War rolled around.

THE STRAIGHT POOP

Folks from Asia, Africa, and parts of Europe and Latin America generally suffer fewer instances of colitis, constipation, or hemorrhoids than their counterparts in the USA or the United Kingdom--all due to their style of defecation.

Specifically, the puborecatlis muscle is in charge of clamping down on the rectum and keeping the feces bottled up until the user is prepared to perform No. 2.  The standard American toilet (which we Yanks stole from the Brits) puts the participant in a seated position, which leaves this clamping muscle in a partially closed configuration and requires much more straining, effort, and time on the part of the user to void bowels.  As any proctologist will tell you, the more time you spend on a standard toilet, the more likely you will develop 'rhoid rage--hence that old procto battle cry condemning reading on the porcelain throne of "the bathroom is not a library."

The people in many other nations, however, either have no toilet at all and squat on the ground or use a toilet specifically designed to place the pooper in a squatting position.  Use of a squatting toilet fully relaxes the puborecatlis muscle and allows for the easy transport of the browns to the super bowl.

The higher the seat in a standard toilet, the more likely it is to interfere with free and joyful fecal unburdening.

A video can be worth a thousand words. This one, an advertisement for the "Squatty Potty," explains it all. As I have never used the product, I cannot opine one way or the other with respect to its efficacy. I can truthfully report, however, that I found its ad to be witty, informative, and "tasteful" in every sense of the word. For a behind-the-scenes look at how they filmed this classic, click here.

View image | gettyimages.com

THE PYROTECHNIC PURCHASERS PARADIGM

Not unexpectedly, the largest buyer of explosives each year in America is the United States government. The second-place winner is the Walt Disney Company with its promiscuous deployment of fireworks.

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