ERADICATING GARMENT DISTRICT ERETHISM

One of the boons in the 19th century for seamstresses as well as for clothing manufacturers was the invention of the treadle sewing machine--a device similar to modern sewing machines except that it was powered not by electricity but instead by the operator using her foot (or feet) to pump a pedal up and down.

While this made sewing much easier and faster than doing it by hand, it purportedly had a deleterious effect on the operator, as reported in the British Medical Journal on January 12, 1867. According to the author of the article, Dr. Langdon H. Down, MD, seamstresses were being overcome by the various ills associated with masturbation--all as a result of the operator receiving sexual stimulation from her legs rubbing together during the use of the machine. To Dr. Down's credit, he specifically rejected genital mutilation as a cure for this problem. He proposed instead a regimen of pouring cold water on the patient, administering potassium bromide and iron salts, outdoor exercise, and finding a different line of work for the patient in order to combat this serious medical condition.

Perhaps in an effort to circumvent claims under the then new worker's compensation laws, some clothing factories purportedly put bromide in the drinking water of their female employees and hired supervisors to make sure that the seamstresses were not operating their machines "too fast."

By Vincent de Groot - http://www.videgro.net
 (Own work)  via Wikimedia Commons

THE "BRING YOUR CHILD TO WORK" PITFALL

You will recall that Ernest Hemingway blew his chances of obtaining the "Father of the Year" Award when he placed his children in harm's way while chasing Nazi U-Boats in his cabin cruiser. Another father who embraced the same laissez-faire philosophy with respect to child endangerment was General Ulysses S. Grant, who, with the blessings of his wife, allowed his 11-year old son Frederick to accompany him on his quest to slaughter Confederates. During one campaign in 1863, Frederick, then at the hoary age of twelve, was shot in the leg and nearly had to have it amputated. As a result, Mama Grant withdrew her consent, and Frederick's military career was put on hold until 1866, when he became a cadet at West Point. 

Frederick eventually achieved the rank of Major General and also served as the Police Commissioner of New York City and Minister to Austria-Hungary. Just like his dad, he died in his early sixties from throat cancer.

For further information on the young Grant's Civil War experiences, click here. For a brief biography of the lesser-known General Grant, click here.

By Bain News Service, publisher, via Wikimedia Commons

THE THUMB WAR

"Vault Boy" poster at video game store

A common rule of thumb (quite literally) in the atomic age involves the calculation of the intensity of a nuclear bomb blast. Specifically, if you stick your arm all of the way out and can cover the image of the mushroom cloud with your thumb, you will be far away from the blast that the heat, shock wave, and fallout, when they eventually arrive, will be too weak to affect you. At least, that is what the theory says.

The rule is also supposed to apply to everyone regardless of body size. For those persons with smaller thumbs, they will also have shorter arms, which means that the thumb will be closer to the eye and its image will effectively cover about the same amount of area as perceived by a larger individual.

The thumb test has been incorporated within the Fallout series of electronic role-playing games featuring a post-apocalyptic society ravaged by nuclear conflict. "Vault Boy," the mascot of the game series (as well as that of "Vault Tec," a corporate entity featured in the games), is often depicted in thumb-up configuration gazing at atomic explosions.

Is there any validity to the rule? The possibility at least exists that it may serve as a rough test for the effect of the shock wave and the heat, although there would still be several variables, such as the size of the bomb, the altitude of detonation, the presence of buildings, and the topography of the area in general. Fallout can travel huge distances over time, and the rule is probably not at all effective for that purpose.

Personally speaking, if I were ever to see a fresh atomic explosion, I will not be standing out in the open gawking at the blast with an upright opposable digit waiting to be shredded by the potential shock wave. I will be rushing instead to get my loved ones behind a concrete wall in the basement, irregardless* of whether or not I can obscure the mushroom cloud with my thumb.

As "irregardless" has been in use for over a century and is found in most dictionaries, it is in fact a word, and it means the same thing as "regardless," just as "inflammable" means the same as "flammable." So get over it.

View image | gettyimages.com

Thanks (or should I say "thumbs up?") to Michael Green for the heads up on this factoid!

THE UNCLEAN ARMADILLO

Armadillos, because of their longevity and low body temperature, are one of the very few animals other than man which can be afflicted with leprosy.  It is estimated that about 5% of armadillos in Texas and Louisiana have the disease.

As of July 22, 2015, nine persons in Florida alone were diagnosed with leprosy, most likely from armadillos, in the preceding seven-month period.

To avoid transmission of leprosy from an armadillo, follow a few basic rules.

1.  Do not eat an armadillo.

2.  Do not have sex with an armadillo.

3.  Do not kiss an armadillo.

4.  Do not share toothbrushes, utensils, or needles with an armadillo.

5.  Do not accept blood transfusions from an armadillo.

6.  Do not get sneezed upon by an armadillo.

It is believed that in most cases, the disease is transmitted to gourmands who violate Rule No. 1 or trappers who violate Rule No. 6.

View image | gettyimages.com

THE CONTRACTING CEREBRUM CONUNDRUM

Contrary to expectations, the human brain has been shrinking in size over the last 20,000 years.  The average male brain once had a volume of about 1500 cc; however, it is now about 1350 cc--a difference about the size of a tennis ball. Female brains, which were slightly smaller to start with, have also shrunk proportionately.

One theory is that 20,000 years ago, individuals had to be a lot more self-reliant and had to have extra intelligence because no one else would be providing them with food, shelter, medical care, clothes, and protection from predators (trying to avoid being eaten can especially require a lot of thought and concentration). This theory would be consistent with observations about wild animals who have become domesticated, as they almost always evolve to smaller brains after several generations of living off of the largesse of humans. The only flaw with this hypothesis is that although it may explain why not as much intelligence may be needed in modern times and why a smaller brain would be adequate, it does not account for why evolution would affirmatively favor the smaller brain instead of just leaving it at its older larger size.

The second theory is that evolution resulted in the brain of each person developing more slowly than it used to and that a modern brain is simply an old-fashioned juvenile brain which never grew to its full adult potential. It is believed that individuals with full adult brains would have been a lot more aggressive than those with juvenile brains. As societies formed and there was less and less self-reliance and more dependence on the group, aggressive individuals with adult brains who went around committing self-indulgent orgies of rape, murder, and pillaging would be executed by the group and their genetic contributions eliminated.

Under either theory, evolution is favoring the preservation of less intelligent individuals who need to be supported by others and is eschewing smarter individuals who are self-reliant. In other words, no matter how counter-intuitive it may seem, the highest and most-evolved life forms vote for Democrats.

View image | gettyimages.com

THE BEAVER/MILKY WAY COMMONALITY

You will recall from a previous factoid that castoreum from beaver anal glands is used to make raspberry flavoring for candy, pastries, and the like. If the thought of using beaver anal secretions in your recipes really, truly, bothers you, then there is another potential source of raspberry flavoring, although it is a little harder to obtain.

Astronomers have been searching the heart of the Milky Way Galaxy with radio telescopes in an attempt to locate amino acids--the basic building blocks of life on earth. While they have not yet found them, they did ascertain that the center of the galaxy contains large amounts of ethyl formate. Ethyl formate is the compound which gives real raspberries their delightful flavor. In addition, if smelled instead of consumed, it has the aroma of rum.

In short, the center of the Milky Way would probably be a delightful place to be, with the flavor of raspberries and the odor of rum. However, it is approximately 100,000 light years, or about 588,000,000,000,000,000 miles (945,000,000,000,000,000 km), away (which is far).

View image | gettyimages.com

MARTIALLY INFLUENCED HOROLOGY

Originally, wristwatches were considered extremely effeminate, and no real man would have a timepiece on his body unless it was a turnip-sized pocket watch in his vest pocket. This attitude changed during World War I, where doughboys had their hands full of weapons or other equipment and were too preoccupied to be fumbling in their gear in order to see if it was time to go over the trenches. A photo of an American watch manufactured for this conflict is below.

By Museumsfoto (Deutsches Uhrenmuseum)
 [CC BY 3.0 de (http://creativecommons.org/licenses
/by/3.0/de/deed.en)], via Wikimedia Commons

As we all remember from an earlier factoid, wristwatches were firmly established as de rigueur by the time the Second World War rolled around.