Thursday, March 31, 2016

THE HARRIER HUSTLE

In 1996, Pepsico ran a promotion where empty Pepsi containers could be redeemed for prizes. Each container was worth a certain number of points, and when you accumulated enough points, you could get a shirt, sunglasses, a hat, a Harrier jet, or the like.

Harrier jet? Well, one of the Pepsi commercials featured a teenager using Pepsi points to acquire various personal items in preparation for school while identifying how many points were required for each item. At the end of the commercial, the teen lands a Harrier jet near the bike rack of his school and smugly says "Sure beats the bus." The commercial then flashes on the screen the message "Harrier Fighter: 7,000,000 Pepsi Points."

John Leonard, a business school student, saw the commercial. He discovered that Pepsi points could be purchased directly for cash at the price of ten cents per point. He got together with five investors and, on March 28, 1996, tendered 15 Pepsi points along with a check for $700,008.50 for the remaining 6,999,985 points and demanded his Harrier (the surplusage of $10 represented costs for "shipping and handling.") Pepsi refused to give Leonard his plane (which normally sold for about $33.8 million apiece when they were purchased for the US Marine Corps).

Leonard sued Pepsi for misleading advertising, fraud, breach of contract, and deceptive and unfair trade practices. He lost. The judge bought Pepsi's argument that no objectively reasonable person could have thought that the commercial constituted a genuine offer on the part of Pepsi.

It was probably just as well for Leonard. The Department of Defense would not have allowed a civilian to purchase a Harrier anyway without first gutting it and stripping it of various armaments and military features--including the famous Harrier engine which permits it to take off and land vertically.
Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

DO YOU BELIEVE IN FAIREYS?

Dauntless. Hurricane. Avenger. Thunderbolt. Lightning. Spitfire. Hellcat. Komet. Corsair. Mustang. Kingcobra. Meteor. Warhawk. Devastator. Flying Fortress. Superfortress. Dominator. All of these testosterone-laden names for World War II aircraft suggest lethality, power, invincibility, speed, and just general all-round ability to be all over their foes like scum on a pond. Oh, and also, lest we forget, the British Fairey Swordfish.

What sort of plane does one envision with a name like "Fairey Swordfish?" Probably, something pretty close to the truth. The Fairey Swordfish were fabric-covered biplanes which would have looked right at home in the skies of World War I, and they were certainly obsolete by World War II (although they did do very well against submarines). They suffered catastrophic losses in battle (some missions lost 100% of the aircraft) and remained operational in the Second World War only because the British needed every plane they could use. I am not sure of the exact term used to describe someone who flew in a Fairey Swordfish, but I am confident that it is not "coward."

Now, let's switch over to battleship nomenclature. The pride of the German fleet in World War II was the Bismarck, named after Otto von Bismarck, the 19th century "Iron Chancellor" who forged the various German states into one modern nation, As described by Johnny Horton in his 1960 hit ballad Sink the Bismarck--

"In May of 1941 the war had just begun
The Germans had the biggest ship that had the biggest guns
The Bismarck was the fastest ship that ever sailed the sea
On her decks were guns as big as steers and shells as big as trees."

Although technically speaking, the Bismarck at that time was not the biggest battleship afloat with the biggest guns (that honor goes to the Japanese battlewagons Yamato and Musashi), it certainly was the biggest German ship, and the song accurately conveys the perception that any enemy vessel that crossed the Bismarck's path would have its hands full. 

The Bismarck and her twin sister, the Tirpitz, were intended to be surface raiders which would steam out into the Atlantic and methodically sink Allied convoys by the boatload. Quite inconveniently, however, the British took great pains to discourage such ventures and deployed much of their naval and air resources towards keeping the two vessels bottled up in their respective harbors. 

Nonetheless, on May 19, 1941, the Bismarck (sporting dazzle camouflage), along with the heavy cruiser Prinz Eugen, three destroyers, and a number of minesweepers, broke free with the intention to wreak havoc in the North Atlantic. After some brief skirmishes with British vessels, the German fleet encountered the British battlecruiser H.M.S. Hood and the battleship H.M.S. Prince of Wales. Salvos were exchanged between the British and German vessels. Eight minutes into the battle, the Bismarck lobbed a shell into an ammo bunker in the Hood, with the resulting explosion causing the Hood to sink almost immediately with a loss of all but three of her crew of 1,419. 

The Germans then savaged the Prince of Wales. They probably would have been able to sink her, but she was effectively neutralized for the time being, and the German orders were to avoid as much as possible any engagement with warships which were not actually protecting a convoy. The Bismarck sailed away suffering damage from three hits--she had inflicted 93 hits on the British in return. 

The damage to the Bismarck, although inconvenient, was not lethal. She headed back to port for repairs. Although her top speed had been reduced to 27 or 28 knots, she was still fast enough that the British ships could not catch up to her. She then subsequently successfully withstood attacks by torpedo bombers, although her speed slowed to to about 16 knots as a result of this additional action. 

The British, who were throwing everything they had into the sea and the air, were desperate. They had miscalculated the course and destination of the Bismarck, and it become obvious that the chances were excellent that the Bismarck would reach her sanctuary. The British finally spotted her by air, but she was out of the range of all British vessels, except one--the H.M.S. Ark Royal. 

The Ark Royal sent out its torpedo bombers to work over the German behemoth. Unfortunately, the bombers attacked a British ship by mistake. Fortunately, none of the detonators on the bombs worked. The British switched to planes equipped with torpedoes and tried again. 

Have you forgotten about our friend the Fairey Swordfish? That is what the Ark Royal had to offer. These delicate and slow cloth-covered kites, each carrying a single torpedo, were the only arrows left in the British quiver. Their pilots were given the unenviable task of lobbing their ordnance at the largest German ship afloat--one bristling with anti-aircraft capabilities. Their only defense would be to fly so low and so slow that the German guns would have trouble tracking them. 

Most of the attacks by the Fairey Swordfish were a failure. One brave pilot managed to lob a torpedo into the side of the ship, causing only minor flooding. Another pilot, John Moffat, sent his torpedo into the port rudder coupling.

Uh oh. With the damage to the port rudder inflicted by Moffat's lowly Fairey Swordfish, the Bismarck could only steam in a giant circle, which is what she was doing when the British fleet finally caught up to her. After the British fired 2,800 shells (400 of which hit the Bismarck) and numerous torpedoes, the German sailors scuttled her to avoid capture of the ship by the British. Finally, the Bismarck finally went down with only 114 survivors from its crew of over 2,200.


"We found the German battleship t'was makin' such a fuss
We had to sink the Bismarck 'cause the world depends on us
We hit the deck a runnin' and we spun those guns around
We found the mighty Bismarck and then we cut her down."

Sunday, March 27, 2016

GOYA'S PORN

One of Francisco Goya's most controversial works of art was "The Naked Maja" ("La Maja Desnuda") painted in the late 1790s. It featured a reclining unclothed female who looked quite brazen and comfortable with her lack of garments, unlike the shy and demure subjects of most other nude artwork at that time. Goya also painted a version showing the same model fully clothed (called, appropriately enough, "The Clothed Maja" ("La Maja Vestida")) . Both pictures were commissioned for a private collector. They are displayed at the bottom of this Factoid, so if you are bothered by nudity, please close this window now.

The Spanish Inquisition, which was still around at the time, tried Goya on moral depravity charges in 1808 because of the nude version of the picture. He was acquitted when it was pointed out that the King of Spain had similar types of artwork in his personal collection.

Controversy was rekindled in 1930, when "The Naked Maja" appeared on a Spanish postage stamp. The United States Post Office refused to deliver any mail bearing the stamp and sent it back to Spain.

Controversy was re-rekindled in 1959, when United Artists released a movie about Goya called The Naked Maja. The Post Office refused to deliver post cards advertising the movie because they contained an image of the offensive painting.

Things have changed a little since the 1800s, the 1930s, and the 1950s. I remember my grandmother in the mid-1960s being horrified by a photo in LIFE magazine of a clothed woman with a baby bump. I shudder to think what she would have said if she could have seen a half-hour of a typical premium cable TV program today.


Francisco Goya [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Francisco Goya [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
:Nickpo (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Thursday, March 17, 2016

THE VICISSITTUDES OF TORTITUDE

"Tortitude," as believed by many pet owners and animal care workers, is a personality frequently found in tortoiseshell and calico cats, characterized by hostility and aloofness towards most persons coupled with an intense loyalty to one particular human being. Cats with this attitude are often characterized as "difficult." According to a 2014 survey by veterinarians at the University of California at Davis of over 1,200 cats, these types of felines are in fact more prone to anti-social behavior such as hissing, biting, swatting, and scratching when a human (other than the one that the particular cat worships) attempts to interact with them.

A tortoiseshell cat essentially is a feline with two different colors (other than white) of fur, while a calico has two different colors plus an area of white. The fur color results from pigment expressed by an X chromosome, so a cat with two different non-white fur colors has to have two X chromosomes, with each chromosome specifying its own pigment for a particular section of the cat . This explains why 2,999 out of 3,000 tortoiseshell and calico cats are female, as only females have two X chromosomes--except for the very rare male who has the feline equivalent of Klinefelter's syndrome with two X chromosomes and a Y chromosome.

Male tabby cats with dark stripes over a lighter background hue do not violate the above rule, as both the dark stripes and the lighter background are a result of the same pigment being applied in different concentrations and are expressed by its single X chromosome. An orange and white male, or an orange, black, and white female calico also is "legal," as the white fur does not count as a color, since it is a result of no pigment being expressed at all on the white area of the animal.

I tend to believe in "tortidude," as we once had a gray calico named Miranda with little smudges of peach color and a white chin and chest. She was absolutely disdainful of most humans and would intercept any attempts of affection with scratching and biting. With me, however, and much to the disgust of my wife, Miranda was absolutely devoted and would crawl onto my stomach for long sessions of petting and purring to the point of drooling.

Could it be that "tortitude" is not a function of the pigment-portions of the X chromosomes but is instead merely a reflection of the fact that the animal is a female? You must be crazy if you think that I would even approach acknowledging that possibility with a ten-foot (3.048 meter) pole.
MIRANDA




Saturday, March 12, 2016

THE AVIAN CHROMATIC DECEPTION

Peacocks are actually brown in color. Their famous delightful Technicolor effects which led them to be adopted for years as a trademark for NBC color television broadcasts actually are generated by thousands of microscopic indentations in the feathers which are covered with thin layers called lamellae. When viewed as a whole, these produce interference patterns in the reflected light and the creation of the gorgeous iridescent hues of the feathers. This phenomenon is shared by certain other birds such as hummingbirds and most blue-hued birds as well as with some butterflies and moths and a few other things in nature.

If you ground up feathers from one of these birds and broke up the lamellae patterns, you would end up with a drab earth-colored paste.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

THE ADMIRAL'S BUG

Photo by James S. Davis [Public domain],
via Wikimedia Commons
Rear Admiral Grace Hopper of the US Navy is usually credited with coining the term "bug" and "debugging" with reference to a malfunction in a computer and the subsequent repair of that malfunction.  In 1947, when she was working on a primitive computer at Harvard University called the Mark II Aiken Relay Calculator, her associates found an actual moth which had been shorting out a circuit (the moth is pictured below and is now enshrined at the Smithsonian Institute), and she allegedly came up with these terms as a result.  However, most entymologists (and entomologists, for that matter) believe that the origin of "bug" as a synonym for glitch originated at a much earlier time.
By Courtesy of the Naval Surface Warfare Center,
Dahlgren, VA., 1988. [Public domain],
via Wikimedia Commons

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

THE HEBREW-VULCAN CAUSALITY

The split-fingered Vulcan salute from Star Trek was derived from the Blessing Hands ritual of Orthodox Judaism, where it is used to anoint synagogue participants on holy days.  It was introduced into the TV show by Leonard Nimoy, who learned it from his grandfather.