WHY SCOTCH?

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In 1919, most American drinkers did not like Scotch whiskey, and the beverage had very sluggish sales in the USA. However, once Prohibition was enacted, they liked the American moonshine provided by bootleggers even less. Although the tipplers may have thought that Scotch tasted strange, they knew that it was at least high quality and did not contain lead, antifreeze, or formaldehyde. As a result, sales of Scotch smuggled into the United States from Canada and the Caribbean skyrocketed. Once Prohibition was abolished, enough Americans were hooked on the stuff that the USA remained and still remains the largest export market for the beverage. 

So enjoy your Scotch tonight, for peat's sake. But please let someone else do the driving. 

BORED WITH THE WISCONSIN DELLS?

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One of the most beautiful and colorful places in the world is the Dallol desert in Ethiopia, which is not a country normally renowned for its tourist attractions. The region is volcanic in origin, and the sulfur salts appear in a wide variety of bright Dr. Seuss primary colors. 

The above photo does not depict inviting pools of water--they are actually composed of sulfuric acid. This feature, coupled with the facts that the average temperature is over 93 degrees F (34 degrees C) and that well-armed terrorists from Eritrea are nearby, discourages casual visitation to the area.

BETTER THAN GOLD

The capstone of the Washington Monument, when manufactured in 1884, was made out of one of the most valuable and scarce materials available--pure aluminum.  At the time, the expense of producing an aluminum capstone was over five times the cost of an equivalent capstone in gold. Like gold, the aluminum did not tarnish, and its durability and uniqueness made it appropriate for this most sacred of American monuments.   Aluminum did not become ubiquitous until a new manufacturing process was developed in 1886 where it could be easily refined by electrolysis instead of by smelting.  Aluminum is actually the third most common element and the most common metal on earth; however, it is never naturally found in its metallic form. For more information on the capstone, click here.

MIGHTY MAUS

On the theory of "the bigger, the better," Adolf Hitler authorized development of a supertank ironically called the "Maus" ("mouse"). It weighed 220 tons (200 metric tons) at a time when ordinary tanks were around 30 tons (27 metric tons) and even the massive King Tiger still weighed only 75 tons (68 metric tons). It was armored with steel ranging from 7.4 inches (18.8 cm) to 9.8 inches (24.9 cm) thick.

Because of its huge weight, it could not go onto city streets or across bridges without them collapsing.  In order to traverse a river, it had to drive on the bottom and feed air to the engine through a snorkel. It had a top speed under ideal conditions of less than 8 miles per hour.

German tank expert General Heinz Guderian thought the whole Maus concept ridiculous, especially since the tank had no machine guns for its self-defense, leaving it vulnerable to any Allied serviceman (or dog) who would trot by with a satchel of high explosive. He was overruled by the industrialists who designed the tank and by Hitler.

The only Maus which was actually built is pictured below and is currently displayed at the Kubinka Tank Museum outside of Moscow. The Soviets captured the tank factory before full production was in gear and assembled the tank from a hull and turret which had been completed by the Germans. The Soviets tested the armor by shooting various anti-tank rounds at it and concluded that the Maus possibly would have done very well in battle, provided that it could have gotten there in a timely fashion in the first place.

Superewer [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

HAIRY FISH

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Settlers in 18th century Quebec had an inadequate supply of fresh fish and thus had difficulty complying with the dietary requirements of the Catholic Church for piscine Fridays. The Québécois (Quebeckers? Quebecians?) petitioned the Pope for leave to devour beavers instead, as the critters lived in water and had scaly tails. The Pope bought the argument, and beavers are thus officially fish.

A similar tactic worked for the Venezuelans, who have permission from the Church to consume capybaras (pictured above) during Lent. Essentially, a capybara is a 150-pound (68-kg) water rat who eats his own bodily waste.

URSINE STEALTH TECHNOLOGY

Ahhhh...

The "polar bear plunge" where either very dedicated or very masochistic human participants swim in ice cold water to raise money for charity is aptly named. Polar bears with their black skin, thick blubber, and hollow hairs are extremely adept at trapping their body heat and handle their frigid environment with equanimity. In fact, their insulation is so highly-perfected that they are usually invisible under all but the most sophisticated infrared detectors.

These physical attributes explain why polar bears don't mind swimming in icy water. However, I am still baffled by the behavior of our family's English setter when I was growing up. Even without a polar bear physique, one of his greatest joys in mid-winter was to find a pond with a thin layer of ice on it so that he could go crashing through and have a nice invigorating dip.

NECROPSY OF A TYRANT

 

1941--Drs. Federov (l) and Volkov (r)

If you were to ask certain people about what happened to Adolf Hitler, you might be bombarded with bizarre theories involving trips to Argentina, brain transplants, or, my personal favorite, an article in a grocery store tabloid revealing that he had been discovered alive in Antarctica in 1999 in suspended animation on a rowboat. However, most historians concur that he committed suicide with his bride Eva Braun in his Berlin bunker on April 30, 1945. Per Hitler’s prior instructions, the SS attempted to burn the corpses beyond recognition but only partially succeeded.

 

Berlin fell to the Russians on May 2, 1945. Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin was obsessed with the fate of Hitler, and he dispatched several forensic teams to confirm whether or not the German dictator was really dead. At the head of the investigation were two of the Soviet Union’s top pathologists—67-year-old Dr. Petyr Volkov and 45-year-old Dr. Iosif Federov. Federov was a protege of Volkov and had studied under him at Lomonosov Moscow State University. The two men were good friends, had often worked together, and were fierce rivals on the chessboard. Volkov was actually a Grandmaster at the game, but Federov was almost as good.

 

Their task in Berlin was complicated by the fact that battlefields are messy and that many of Hitler’s myrmidons as well as ordinary troops and citizens had died violently in the vicinity of the bunker as a result of bombings, shellings, suicide, vigilante action, enemy small-arms fire, and the like. There were a lot of burned corpses and fragmented bodies for the forensic teams to parse.

 

Volkov and Federov were grimly aware that should they report that Hitler had shuffled off this mortal coil, Stalin would be incensed because his archenemy would then be beyond Stalin’s ability to inflict retribution. Stalin would thereafter be likely to turn his wrath towards those who had provided him with the bad news. On the other hand, the doctors also realized that lying to Stalin could provoke an even more extreme and creative reaction on his part should the ruse be discovered. Therefore, even though the pathologists early on had a pretty good idea on which charred cadaver was Hitler’s, they bought some time by intentionally saving him for last and instead first evaluated all of the generous supply of other bodies and body parts. Due to the volume of raw material and the fact that the NKVD (the predecessor agency to the KGB) was breathing down the doctors’ necks, they worked 20-hour days to the point of exhaustion.

 

Finally, the day they dreaded had arrived. Hitler’s remains were the only ones left. Volkov made the usual Y-shaped incision and started to reveal the contents of the German dictator’s body cavity. Federov then stopped Volkov with a restraining hand, placed a chess board on the end of the autopsy table, pulled up a couple of high stools, uncorked a bottle of vodka, and suggested to his friend that they play one final game before completing what could well be their last autopsy. After a few moves on the board, both men succumbed to the alcohol and fatigue and nodded off to sleep with their heads on the corpse.

 

One of the NKVD agents, concerned that no one had heard from the doctors for a couple of hours, entered the autopsy room and then reported back to his comrades. They asked him what he saw, and he responded,

 

  

 

 

 

“Chess nuts resting on an open Führer.”

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

A CHRISTMAS SEAL

Americans are urged to prepare for their Christmas dinner well ahead of time by ordering a ham or turkey a couple of weeks prior to the holiday. In Greenland, the preparation of the traditional Christmas meal, kiviak (also spelled "kiviaq"), requires even more advanced planning. 

Although the process of making kiviak is time consuming, the ingredients are simple.  Here is the recipe.

 

INGREDIENTS:

1.  1 dead seal

2.  300 to 500 dead auks (a flightless bird kinda like a penguin)

 

PREPARATION: 

1.  Skin the seal.  Eat the skinned seal if you wish.

2.  Fill the seal skin with dead auks.  Do not cook, clean, defeather, debone, eviscerate, or do anything else to the auks except stuff them into the seal skin.

3.  Sew up the seal skin and seal the seam with blubber.

4. Scoop a hole in the permafrost, throw into it the seal/auk "turducken," and cover with a boulder.

5.  Allow to ferment for three to eighteen months.

6.  Dig up the seal skin, slit it open, and invite your guests to pull out the dead auks and eat them raw and whole, bones and all, after plucking off the feathers. Many kiviat aficionados affirmatively enjoy biting the heads off and sucking out the liquefied entrails. 

Fans of the TV series Frasier will recall Episode 6.08 (The Seal Who Came to Dinner) where a putrescent pinniped proved to be a particularly pungent party-pooper. Specifically, snobby Niles Crane suffered major social opprobrium when the presence of a malodorous dead seal proved to be a distraction while Niles was hosting a fancy dinner at a beachfront cottage. The writers of the show were correct in representing that the smell of dead seal is not a mild one.  Add to this scent the odor of several hundred fermented birds, and you will understand why kiviak is traditionally consumed outdoors. 

Kiviak was developed by the Inuits thousands of years ago in response to the fact that their land was not honeycombed with Piggly Wiggly supermarkets or verdant pastures filled with herds of Black Angus cattle. On those months each year in the frigid north where there was virtually no other source of protein or fat, kiviak was literally a lifesaver. 

Finally, kiviak preparation is not a task for amateurs. In 2013, some Greenlanders made kiviak but substituted ducks for the auks and lined the interior of the seal skin with plastic.  The result was death by botulism. Famed polar explorer and anthropologist Knud Rasmussen also succumbed to kiviak food poisoning in 1933.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

LORNE GREENE'S MASTECTOMY BY REPTILE

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The rumor persists that Lorne Greene (who played Ben Cartwright on Bonanza) had a nipple bitten off by an alligator when Greene was filming one of the nature shows he hosted (either Last of the Wild or Lorne Greene's New Wilderness). Greene always refused to confirm whether or not this event actually happened, and he took the secret with him to the grave (quite literally, as an examination of his body would most likely resolve this controversial issue).

THE SCHIZOPHRENIC KING

In 1542, the Irish Parliament enacted "The Crown of Ireland Act 1542," which established that the King of Great Britain would also be the King of Ireland. Subject to a hiccup or two along the way, this system persisted until 1800, when Ireland and Great Britain were merged into the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. In 1922, Ireland became a free nation, but it still retained the King of Great Britain as its head of state (Northern Ireland, of course, continued to remain and still remains entirely a part of Great Britain).

In 1936, after the abdication of King Edward VIII, Ireland amended its constitution to strip the king of all of his duties except for the appointment of consular and diplomatic representatives to Ireland and the "conclusion" of international agreements when authorized to do so by the Irish government. It was not until 1949 that Ireland withdrew from the British Commonwealth and the British monarch was no longer involved in the Irish government.

As a result of the foregoing, during World War II, King George VI was involved in the dual role of trying to destroy Germany on behalf of Great Britain while at the same time formally meeting with and receiving the credentials of the German diplomats to Ireland and being available to execute agreements between the Irish and German governments.

In a similar vein, when India and Pakistan were Dominions of the Commonwealth and fighting each other in 1947, George VI was the monarch of both countries simultaneously.

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WHY DOES IT ANTIMATTER?

As any science fiction fan knows, antimatter is the reverse image of matter where the electrons in antimatter carry a positive charge and the protons carry a negative charge. When a piece of antimatter encounters normal matter, both of the masses are destroyed and converted to large amounts of energy. 

Antimatter is the primary source of fuel for space vessels in Star Trek. 

It would take the CERN particle accelerator in Geneva, Switzerland one billion years to produce enough antimatter to equal one gram (one 1/454th of a pound). However, that one gram would be enough to vaporize the entire city of Chicago.

People actually secrete antimatter. As a result of the radioactive decay of Potassium-40 found in the human body, a person who weighs 175 pounds emits about 180 positrons (positive electrons) of antimatter a day. These positrons immediately collide with matter and are destroyed. However, the amount of energy released from the destruction of a single positron is not noticeable under ordinary circumstances.

Theoretically, matter and anti-matter were created in equal amounts. So why is there so much more apparent matter than antimatter in the universe, and why didn't all of the matter and antimatter cancel each other out, leaving nothing in the universe but a whole lot of energy?  Good question.

USDE, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

THE HOOD SCOOP ANOMALY

1955 T-Bird

A hood scoop (or "bonnet scoop" for you Brits) is provided on a high performance car (and often on a not so high performance car) for usually one or more of the following reasons:

1. It forces additional cooler (and hence, denser) air into the carburetor which then supports the burning of additional fuel with a resulting increase in power.

2. It allows cooler air to bathe the engine and reduce the chances of overheating.

3. It looks studly.

On the 1955-57 Thunderbirds, the hood scoop was installed for a more prosaic purpose. Quite simply, the body stylists designed the hood so low that there was no room for the air cleaner on the top of the engine. The addition of a hood scoop provided the necessary extra few inches for the air cleaner and also, as a side benefit, achieved Reason No. 3 listed above.

Ford provided these early Thunderbird owners with a metal plate to block off the hood scoop in cold weather so that the engine could achieve ideal operating temperatures as soon as possible.

Tests performed in a wind tunnel in the 1970s revealed that the Thunderbird hood scoop actually interferes with the proper distribution of air around the engine and into the carburetor and that the car ironically always runs slightly better with the scoop blocked off.

PROJECT SUPERPRESSURE

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In the early 1950s, universities and chemical companies were engaged in the industrial Holy Grail quest of creating artificial diamonds--a product which would have numerous industrial applications and would bring vast fortunes to whomever first unlocked the process. In 1953, chemist H. Tracy Hall (on the right in the above photo) joined the diamond research team at General Electric for Project "Superpressure." GE was purchasing a $125,000 press in the hope that it could be used to make diamonds. Hall requested, but was refused, $1,000 and time in the lab to repair and retrofit an older and much cheaper alternative device which would use a different method to create the necessary intense heat and high pressures required to achieve the same goal.

Hall completed his device on his own time and at his own expense and tested it the GE labs during Christmas vacation in 1954. It worked, while the $125,000 press did not. 

GE, as a result of Hall's accomplishment, proudly announced that it had made the first industrial diamonds and eagerly awaited for the profits to come pouring in. GE gave Hall a $25* savings bond as the reward for his efforts.

For further information on Mr. Hall, please click here.

*Some sources indicate that it was actually only a $10 savings bond, but that denomination was available only to active duty U.S. military personnel during the war era.

TSUTOMU YAMAGUCHI--"THIS REALLY SUCKS"

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Tsutomu Yamaguchi had a bad week in August of 1945 when he went on a business trip to Hiroshima and was severely burned by the first atomic bomb. He made his way back to his home in Nagasaki in time to endure yet another A-bomb blast. In both cases, he was within two miles of ground zero but still survived.

Yamaguchi, for understandable reasons, became an advocate for nuclear disarmament. He died from cancer, probably as a result of his exposure to radiation, in 2010 at age 93.

You can read more about Mr. Yamaguchi at the "Today I Found Out" website.

IKE'S MOO COWS

Photo from Eisenhower Presidential
Library and Museum

President Eisenhower's home at Gettysburg, which he acquired in 1950, was a working cattle farm. Just like how the Republicans used to complain about President Obama's frequent golf vacations in Hawai'i, Democrats used to gripe whenever Eisenhower spent any time with his herd in Pennsylvania. Eisenhower's Black Angus cattle won many prizes, and Ike, at least while he was President, had his cattle business partners enter the beeves in competition under his partners' own names, not the President's, so that there would be no favoritism shown by the judges.

Eisenhower hosted many dignitaries at his ranch, including Konrad Adenauer (pictured above in the dark suit in the center), Charles de Gaulle, and Winston Churchill. One of the most impressed visitors was Nikita Khrushchev, who was fascinated by the operation and evinced considerable knowledge about agriculture in general. Khrushchev was not nearly as awed by the drive to the farm, indicating that the numerous single-family homes he saw on the way were a waste of resources.

"LIMELIGHT" NOT IN THE LIMELIGHT

Limelight was a movie starring Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton which was made in 1952. It received an Oscar for its score in 1973. Normally, only new pictures from the prior year can win an Academy Award, but when Limelight came out, Chaplin was being accused of being a Commie, and only East Coast theaters would show it. For Oscar purposes, the official release date of a movie is determined by when it first plays in Los Angeles, and, in this case, that did not occur until 1972.

Limelight received outstanding reviews from high-brow film critics and was very popular in Europe and Japan. Its sales in the USA, however, were a lackadaisical $1 million--most likely because most theaters refused to screen it.

I have never seen the picture and thus cannot legitimately pass judgment on it. However, the descriptions of it I have read suggest to me that it may be one of those poignant, bittersweet, feeling-sharing type of treacle fests which would bore me to tears. 

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THE CARBROOK GOLF CLUB WATER HAZARD

Chaloklum Diving, CC BY 3.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0>,
via Wikimedia Commons

The Carbrook Golf Club in Queensland, Australia, has a water hazard in the truest sense of the word, especially for a golfer who wades in trying to retrieve a lost ball.  The lake on the course contained at one time at least six bull sharks, some near ten feet long.  Bull sharks are maneaters who attack people more than any other shark species, as they like to cruise in shallow water and are very aggressive. They also have the ability, unlike other sharks, of thriving in fresh water for extended, if not indefinite, periods of time.

The sharks populated the lake in the 1990s when floods temporarily connected it to the ocean. Unlike most other golf courses, the management does not allow divers to harvest balls from the water hazard. Lamentably, the sharks have not been spotted recently, and their fate is unknown.

Bull sharks have been known to travel up freshwater passages and have been caught in the Mississippi River as far north as Alton, Illinois.

If you wish to know what a bull shark who calls a golf course home looks like, please click on this video clip.

THE SECRET OF THE HOLEY STONE

A "holey stone" is a stone where erosion or another natural event has bored a hole through it. These rare rocks are highly regarded in folklore and are supposed to possess a wide variety of magical powers. Perhaps the most significant use of a holey stone is to look through the hole with one eye while keeping the other eye closed. If you do so, you are supposed to be able to spot faeries, elves, brownies, or any other fey creature in the area who would otherwise be invisible.

THE GHOSTBUSTERS CASE

In 1989, New York City resident Jeffrey Strambovsky entered into a contract with Helen Ackley to purchase Ackley's Victorian house in Nyack, New York for $650,000. Neither Ackley nor her real estate agent bothered to mention during the negotiations that the home also featured three resident ghosts. Upon hearing of the haunting--after signing the contract but prior to closing--Strambovsky filed a lawsuit for damages and for rescission (a legal term meaning "I want to wuss out of the deal") based on Ackley's failure to disclose a condition (i.e. the presence of ghosts) of the property which could not otherwise be determined by a reasonable inspection of the real estate.

Ackley's lawyer, invoking the doctrine of caveat emptor ("let the buyer beware") convinced the lower court that the seller did not have a duty to tell the potential buyer every little thing which could be wrong with the property, as long as she did not affirmatively misrepresent the facts by specifically saying "the house is not haunted." If the buyer simply had failed to ask if there were spirits on the property, it was his fault for not doing so. 

The appellate court, however, in a 3-2 opinion, reversed the decision. Ackley had several times in the past told local newspapers as well as the Reader's Digest that the house was occupied by ghosts. Having done so, she was "estopped" from asserting at trial a contrary position, and the judges therefore presumed, at least legally, that the house was haunted. The appellate court further determined that a haunted house is worth less than an unhaunted one, that Strambovsky had no reason to suspect that it was haunted, and that equity required that he be able to squirm out of the contract. The court further pointed out that were it to rule otherwise, the standard home inspection done for a buyer would include not only a structural engineer and a guy from Terminix but also a medium or a psychic. 

The court did find, however, that Ackley did not owe Strambovsky additional money for damages, as she did not affirmatively lie about the haunting but merely failed to mention it.

The spectre of yielding to the temptation to shade this factoid with numerous ghost puns is overwhelming. However, the court in its opinion already did so, and in the spirit of compassion, as well as in the interest of avoiding my readers' wraith, I will not repeat them here.

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COMMON CENTS

Geezers among us will recall the ubiquitous use of the United States penny in vending machines for candy and gum as well as in parking meters and other devices. Today, however, that has all changed. A nickel today is worth less than a penny was in 1972. It costs 2.1 cents to mint each penny--even when considering the fact that they have been made primarily out of zinc since 1982 (specifically, they now consist of a zinc core with a thin outer shell of copper for a total composition of 97.5% zinc and 2.5% copper). Gumball machines and the like are now fueled by higher-denomination coins.

According to the infamous 2001 "penny episode" of the West Wing TV series (a brief excerpt can be found here), the only vending machines which still accept pennies are toll booths in Illinois. The episode further claimed that Illinois politicians were successfully blocking any and all attempts to eliminate the penny from circulation out of respect for the individual pictured thereon (who, incidentally, was born and raised in Kentucky and Indiana--not Illinois).

Any truth to the West Wing assertions? Actually, yes, at least to the one about the toll booths. Toll booths in Illinois at the time were still accepting pennies. In fact, in 2001, they were taking in 800,000 of them a DAY. However, in 2020, the Illinois Tollway eliminated all cash payments--pennies or otherwise.

Whether or not Illinois representatives were the ones opposed to eliminating the penny is not nearly as well-documented. In fact, the highest-ranking politician alive hailing from Illinois, Barack Obama, indicated in 2013 that he would be fine with getting rid of the coin.

When the small-sized penny was first issued in 1856, it had the buying power of about 37 cents today when adjusted for inflation. Nowadays, virtually nothing can be purchased for a cent, while using a bunch of pennies to buy groceries is cumbersome, impractical, and irritating to both the cashier and the people behind in the line. Most banks will not count loose change, and anyone desiring to redeem their coins for cash without a major hassle is doomed to take them to one of those ubiquitous coin-counting machines in grocery stores and the like which will convert them to paper money while charging a substantial premium for that privilege. Americans normally instead take the pennies home and stuff them in a jar to deal with later, effectively removing them from circulation and creating a shortage which results in the mint making billions (literally) more cents each year to fill the gap--cents which will also end up in the same vicious cycle.

Canada had a similar coinage system as the USA (distinguished, however, with quaint designs including royalty, leaves, boats, woodland creatures, etc.) which featured the minting of huge quantities of pennies. In 2012, the Canadian government stopped making pennies and started withdrawing them from circulation for melting in 2013, leaving the 5-cent nickel as the lowest-denomination coin. Transactions are still initially conducted, however, to the nearest cent. Then, if cash is used, the total bill, including tax, is rounded up or down to the nearest multiple of 5 cents--for example, a total ending in $0.62 would be rounded down to $0.60, a total ending in $0.23 or $0.27 would be rounded to $0.25, and a total ending in $0.08 would be rounded up to $0.10. Credit card or check transactions are billed and paid to the exact cent and are not rounded.

If the USA were to adopt the Canadian system, the mint itself would probably save in excess of $80 million a year. The costs to businesses and individuals in having to deal with the pesky pennies would be harder to calculate but would nonetheless be substantial. In addition, especially after the COVID-19 pandemic, Americans have gradually been shifting to a cashless economy with even less reason to use the coins. On the other hand, there would be the resentment engendered in many citizens for paying ten cents in an eight-cent transaction as well the public outrage against removing a denomination which has been around prior to the establishment of the Republic and a coin which has featured the beloved Abe Lincoln ever since 1909. It thus seems unlikely that Congress will be eager to drop the penny in the near future to save $80 million annually, especially since it spends almost $7 million every MINUTE on other stuff.

Finally, however, remember, even though a penny today is virtually worthless, you can still get in deep trouble if you transport more than 500 of them out of the USA.

TAKING THE LEAD

Many decades ago, a common attraction at a county fair would be a salesman who would drive up in a Model T Ford, Hupmobile, or the like which would be running very roughly and knocking. The salesman, once a crowd had gathered, would sprinkle a few drops of a chemical on his necktie and then wave the necktie in front of the carburetor. The car engine would then immediately subside to a gentle but enthusiastic purr once fumes from the necktie were sucked in. The spectators would then shove dollar bills towards the salesman for a bottle of this miracle additive to put into the gas tanks of their own vehicles.

I did not use the term "huckster" or "charlatan" or any other derogatory term for the salesman, as his product actually worked to boost the octane of the gasoline and to improve engine performance. Unfortunately for the salesman, the miracle ingredient was tetraethyl lead, and many of the salesmen ultimately discovered that wandering around with lead fumes wafting from a garment around one's neck is not healthy. However, even the surviving salesmen soon went out of business once the major oil companies added tetraethyl lead to the gasoline at the refinery so that everyone, in true democratic equality, could be exposed to poisonous lead fumes. 

Tetraethyl lead was phased out by law starting in the late 1970s, which proved to be an inconvenience to those owning cars from the 1950s with high-compression engines which needed high-octane gasoline.

THIS TOOK A LOT OF BALLS

A freighter full of 5,000 sheep capsized and sank off of the coast of Kuwait in 1964. The sheep died and started decomposing. This was unacceptable, as the scene of their putrefaction was next to the source of Kuwait's drinking water and no one wanted to drink rotten sheep.

Danish inventor Karl Kroyer solved the problem by devising a way to run a hose to the sunken vessel and to pump into it 27 million small buoyant balls, which caused the sheep ship to become shipshape and rise to the surface.

Kroyer then attempted to patent his invention in Holland, but it was rejected by the Dutch patent officers because they claimed that the idea was not original. Although Kroyer did not intentionally poach another person's work, it turns out that the patent office was correct. Specifically, the May 1949 issue of Walt Disney Comics featured the story The Sunken Yacht where Donald Duck and his nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie had used the exact same technique to fill Uncle Scrooge's sunken yacht (hence the name of the episode) with ping pong balls to raise it from the depths of the sea. 

It is still unclear why the Dutch authorities were using Donald Duck comic books to conduct a patent search, but hey, they obviously knew what they were doing. Some folks have asserted that the Dutch patent office did not have the comic book in mind when it denied the patent, but the patent office itself actually gainsays these skeptics.

For further information, click here.

Copyright 1949 "The Sunken Yacht"
by Walt Disney Corporation

THE GROOM OF THE STOOL

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One of the most coveted positions in medieval times was that of "Groom of the Stool."  The lucky individual selected for the job had the privilege of administering enemas to the king when needed, of wiping the royal buttocks after a No. 2, of disposing of the royal bodily waste, and, in general, of making sure that the king's rear end was squeaky clean. The king could not be expected to perform these tasks on his own.

Being appointed Groom of the Stool was in fact considered a very prestigious honor.  Only the hands of a very high nobleman could be allowed to touch the kingly posterior.  The person so selected would always become a close confidant of the regent.

However, as Henry Norris--a former Groom of the Stool to Henry the VIII--unfortunately discovered, being a confidant of the king and the cleaner of his butt nonetheless does not give you license to have sexual relations with the king's mistress. There is evidence to suggest that Norris may have been falsely accused of this error in judgment, but the final result was the same--although the king in a moment of benevolence allowed Norris the mercy of being beheaded instead of drawn and quartered.

COOKING WITH YOUR CHRYSLER

By Historianbuff (Own work)
 [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0),
Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

My wife is a superb cook and has incredibly well-honed instincts on working with ingredients, temperatures, and timing to consistently produce diverse delectable dishes. It is a gift with her, and even if you would burn all of her recipe cards, she would still shine in the kitchen. I can count her culinary failures since 1977 with the fingers on just one hand--and that does not include the thumb.

However, a food preparation arena she has not yet entered is one that has been occupied for years by truckers and other individuals who spend much time on the highway--i.e. cooking with a hot vehicle engine while driving.  There are recipes available devoted to this art (for example, the seminal "fast food" cookbook Manifold Destiny by Chris Maynard and Bill Scheller). Although there are certain basic concepts which auto chefs quickly ascertain (such as "don't place the food directly on the oily engine block--wrap it in foil first," "don't allow leaking radiator hoses to steam your veggies with coolant," "keep the crown roast well away from the fan," and "avoid making souffles unless your car is running really smoothly"), there are enough variables in the process that only an individual with keen culinary instincts could prepare decent banquets on the motor (or, as they call it in the trade, "host a block party").

As with real estate, the key is location, location, location. Steaks should be grilled on the exhaust manifold, which is the hottest part of the motor. Baked potatoes go on the engine block. Vegetables should be steamed on the cooler valve covers. Ironically, nothing should be cooked on the grill.

A workman is only as good as his tools.  Unfortunately, modern cars with their overcrowded engine compartments and heavy layers of insulation under the hood are not nearly as well suited space-wise or temperature-wise as their elder brethren in serving as stoves or ovens. Most experts agree that the ultimate vehicles for preparing "meals on wheels" are mid-fifties to early-sixties Chrysler products equipped with the massive Hemi V-8 power plant. These engines are well ventilated, have plenty of spacious flat cooking surfaces, and produce the best ranges of heat for food preparation.