THE VICTORIA SPAWNING CONSTERNATION

Queen Victoria (1819-1901) of Great Britain had a total of nine children. She delivered her first seven by natural childbirth without resort to the new-fangled invention of anesthesia. For her eighth delivery in 1853, she was ready to eschew much of the pain and agreed to the use of chloroform during the procedure. Happy with the results, she repeated the process for her ninth and final child.

Even more so than today, every action of the monarch was subject to the intense scrutiny and comments of the public. The leading journal for physicians in the country, The Lancet, decried the use of anesthesia as medically inappropriate for childbirth. Clergymen all over the country advised that the procedure violated God's intention that women suffer pain as a result of the acts of Eve, as revealed by Genesis 3;16, which stated, "Unto the woman He said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." 

However, in the 19th century, most physicians and clergymen were males. The females of the population thought that what their Queen had done was really cool, and childbirth under anesthesia in industrial societies quickly became the standard procedure (at least for those who could afford it) until the natural childbirth movement emerged in the mid-20th Century.

OPERATION BERNHARD

Probably the most ambitious incident of counterfeiting currency that ever occurred was during World War II under “Operation Bernhard.” Operation Bernhard was a scheme initially devised by Reinhard Heydrich, who was Heinrich Himmler’s right-hand man and whose more notorious contribution to the Nazi war effort was the formulation of the “Final Solution” to murder all of the Jews in Europe. Under Operation Bernhard, the Germans planned to drop from airplanes huge quantities of counterfeit Bank of England notes over the United Kingdom with the goal of devaluating the English currency and destroying that country’s economy.

At that time, notes issued by the Bank of England were printed only on one side with black ink and had the same basic design since 1793. A casual examination of an example would cause one to believe that the currency was fairly simple, primitive, and ridiculously easy to counterfeit. However, in reality, the money was extremely difficult to duplicate. The inked design and the watermark in the paper had hundreds of microscopic security devises incorporated within them which would be apparent only to a knowledgeable bank official with a magnifying glass.The paper was a special flourescent blend made from fibers from plants from the far East. The serial numbers were not randomly generated but were instead specially coded to other features of each bill.

It took Heydrich’s technicians, working with the best brains of German industry, three years to come up with the right recipes for the paper and ink and the correct formula for generating authentic serial numbers. Finally, in 1942, he turned the project over to SS Major Bernhard Kruger to actually start making the money.

Kruger carefully selected Jewish prisoners (eventually, up to about 145 of them) to manufacture the plates and the notes in Barracks No. 19 in the Sachsenhausen concentration camp outside of Berlin. In order to maintain strict secrecy, Barracks 19 and its occupants were isolated by barbed wire and Kruger’s hand-picked guards from the rest of the camp. Relatively speaking (and the key word here is “relatively”), the prisoners in Barracks 19 were treated more leniently than the rest of the camp inmates and had access to luxuries such as food, warm clothing, a radio, and playing cards. However, they still were quite confident that they would be executed once the project was done, and this awareness tainted their whole experience.

The prisoners eventually manufactured some trial notes which appeared reasonably authentic. Kruger arranged to have samples sent to leading Swiss bankers with a fictional story about their source and an inquiry as to whether or not they were counterfeit. The bankers assured him that they were genuine. His crew then printed approximately 9 million bills with a total value of about 135 million pounds in denominations of 5, 10, 20, and 50 pounds (a 10 pound bill would be the equivalent of about $700 today). The counterfeits were incredibly well done, and contained only a couple of extremely minute errors (which the prisoners most likely intentionally put in, at considerable personal risk). The prisoners also folded the notes and rubbed dirt on them so that they would look realistically circulated. 

Due to pressing obligations elsewhere, the Luftwaffe never dropped the currency over England per the original plan. However, much of the money was used to pay spies and purchase materials from other foreign countries willing to accept British pounds. Eventually, some of the bills did make it into circulation in England.

Instead of shredding its old worn-out notes, the policy for centuries for the Bank of England was to file them by serial number in big leather books. One day in 1943, one of its officers attempted to file a counterfeit note only to discover that its slot had already been filled by a retired genuine bill. The Bank freaked out when it realized how exquisitely realistic the counterfeit was. The Bank immediately, but without public fanfare, began to withdraw all of its notes of 5 pounds and greater from circulation and did not re-introduce the denominations until decades later.

Kruger’s crew was too efficient in making the notes, and Kruger told the prisoners to slow down production so that the project would linger on and they would not be executed. In an effort to buy more time, he convinced his bosses that his group should also make U.S. currency. The crew in fact was about to print thousands of high-quality $100 bills, but the end of the war intervened.

When the Sachsenhausen camp was about to be captured by Allied troops, the SS transported the prisoners in Barracks 19 to other camps for execution; however, the prisoners were liberated before they could be killed. The SS dumped the vast majority of the fake money and the counterfeiting equipment into Lake Toplitz in Austria. Some of the money at the lake floated to the surface and washed ashore, where it was used by nearby villagers for kindling or toilet paper. A lot more of the ersatz cash was recovered by divers in 1959.

Kruger escaped but was eventually captured. He did not stand trial for war crimes, primarily because of his “benevolent” treatment of his charges and the fact that he slowed the project down so that they would not be killed. Some of the prisoners themselves were not as charitable, and they pointed out that the completion of the project would have also meant that Kruger himself would most likely have been transferred to the Russian front. They also questioned his humanity and motivation when he allowed six ill prisoners to be shot rather than being taken to the infirmary of the camp where they could have spilled the beans about the project. The naysaying prisoners further were not impressed by Kruger's altruism when he routinely took the best quality examples of the counterfeits for his own personal use.

Operation Bernhard was the subject of the 2007 movie The Counterfeiters, which won the Oscar for the best foreign language film. It was based on the memoirs of Adolph Berger, who was one of the prisoners involved in the countefeiting project. It is worth seeing. 

Today, a genuine counterfeit note (sounds paradoxical, doesn't it) by Bernhard's crew is highly collectible.

WRITING AN EFFECTIVE COLLEGE ADMISSION ESSAY

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John F. Kennedy's essay for his application to Harvard University reads, in its entirety, as follows:

"The reasons that I have for wishing to go to Harvard are several. I feel that Harvard can give me a better background and a better liberal education than any other university. I have always wanted to go there, as I have felt that it is not just another college, but is a university with something definite to offer. Then to [sic], I would like to go to the same college as my father. To be a "Harvard man" is an enviable distinction, and one that I sincerely hope I shall attain."

It is hard to argue that his efforts weren't good enough, as he did get in--especially in light of the fact that they even overcame a recommendation letter by his own father which stated that the candidate "was careless and lacks application."  

MONOPOLY--REALLY GET OUT OF JAIL FREE

During World War II, the British licensee of the Parker Brothers* Monopoly game put out a special edition for use by Allied POWs in Germany. Prisoners knew to look for a small red dot on the "Free Parking" space, which would identify the game as one which would have silk maps, a compass, a steel file, and genuine foreign currency concealed within the board.  The British Secret Service devised a fake charity to distribute these games, as it did not want the Red Cross to be involved and ultimately blacklisted by the Germans in the event one of the boards was discovered. Unfortunately for World War II paraphernalia collectors, the manufacturer destroyed all remaining copies of the game after the war was over. *Parker Brothers was absorbed into Hasbro in 1991.

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ABSOLUTELY ENCOURAGING ANOREXIA

It should be to no one's surprise that the bizarre dimensions of the original Barbie doll had for years elicited accusations that they encourage young girls to pursue a figure that is simply unrealistic and unachievable. In an apparent blatant move to cater further to those females who attempt to follow those dangerous dietary practices designed to achieve an implausible impossibly perfectly proportioned pulchritudinous bodily image, Mattel, in 1965, introduced the Slumber Party Barbie, which came with the book "How to Lose Weight." The sole advice contained within the book?  "Don't eat." 

To view Slumber Party Barbie, the book, and an accessory pink bathroom scale permanently set to 110 pounds, click here.

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A TREDECTET OF LOAVES

In the 1260s, British bakers were notorious for gypping their customers by selling extra-light products. As a result, King Henry III directed that Draconian penalties* be imposed against any bread maker caught skimping on the goods. In order to make sure that they didn't accidentally sell a wussy load to a customer, the bakers over-compensated by adding an extra roll to every 12, thus establishing that thirteen items equals a "baker's dozen."

*In the 1260s, you really, truly, did not want to have Draconian penalties inflicted upon you.

HOW PLYMOUTH CARS GOT THEIR NAME

Christine

The Plymouth automobile was not named after Plymouth Rock or even Plymouth, England when it was introduced in 1928. Chrysler executives instead had been inspired by Plymouth Binding Twine, a product of the Plymouth Cordage Company. Plymouth Binding Twine was used by farm households all over the country and was renowned for economy, simplicity (as opposed to those complicated kinds of twines), durability, and reliability--all virtues which Chrysler wanted associated with its new brand of car. It was several decades later that Chrysler stuffed huge Hemi engines inside certain models of Plymouths and transformed them into racing vehicles, police interceptors, and highly-collectible muscle cars, although basic-level economy family cars remained the bread-and-butter of the line until its demise in 2001.

A red 1958 Plymouth Fury served as the antagonist in the book and movie version of Stephen King's Christine. All-in-all, it is one of the better stories about coping with a demonically-possessed Plymouth. I too once owned a Plymouth of evil--a 1975 Gran Fury. It was not one of Chrysler's shining moments. Perhaps its most loathsome feature, at least on my vehicle, was an automatic choke which shut the car down dead sixty seconds after starting, regardless if it was idling in the driveway, approaching the middle of an intersection, or crossing railroad tracks. On the other hand, my dad's '60 Plymouth Sport Suburban wagon with tail fins to rival those of Boeing 747s ran like a Swiss watch.

THE HILL'S ARE A LIE...

The first color photographs, where the colors are part of the chemical process and not instead added manually later by ink or paint, were devised by an upstate New York Baptist minister named Levi Hill around 1850. For years, Hill refused to disclose the formula for his photos, and for years many persons cried fraud and stated that Hill's images were simply black and white pictures where the pigments had been applied later by hand. Finally, in 1856, Hill sold advance subscriptions to his book describing his recipe for color photographs for the princely sum of $25 (over $675 in today's dollars). The book proved to be too rambling and incoherent for most readers to be able to duplicate the process and did little to erase the suspicions that Hill's pictures (known as "Hillotypes") were just hand-colored photos.

In 1981, Joseph Boudreau was able to decipher the tome adequately to create color photos resulting solely from a chemical process--especially for certain pigments such as red, green, blue, magenta, orange, and yellow. However, the range of colors was limited, and most faded out rather quickly when the photos were displayed in normal light. 

Tests done by the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History in 2007 on numerous original Hillotypes revealed that most of the colors on them other than red and blue had been added by hand (presumably by Hill). In other words, Hill was a fraud--just not a complete one. Despite the fake coloration of some of the hues, he can still be credited with developing (so to speak) the first color photograph.

For more information on Rev. Hill's colorful invention, see this article on the Smithsonian website.

THE COIN MOST HATED BY TOLL BOOTH ATTENDANTS

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The largest legal tender coin made in recent times was the one tonne piece minted in 2012 in Australia. It contains 1,012 kilograms (2,230 lb) of 99.99% pure gold. It has a face value of only $1 million Australian dollars but has a bullion value of approximately $32.5 million dollars (US) when the price of gold is at $1,000 an ounce.

To see a video on how to make a very big gold piece, click here.

EMP-ATHY

Federal government of the United States, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

An electromagnetic pulse (EMP) is a burst of intense electromagnetic energy generated by the detonation of a nuclear bomb. Although much attention is devoted to the flashier aspects of atomic explosions (high heat, strong winds, and radioactive fallout), a judicial use of EMP effects could easily destroy an entire country.

Essentially, the sudden burst of energy will fry electrical components in the area by causing a burst of intense electrical current to form within them. The effects can be minor or catastrophic depending on a variety of factors, the most important being the altitude of the explosion. For the most part, the size of the bomb is not the critical factor, and a small Hiroshima-sized fission bomb could be as effective as a 50-megaton fusion device. An atomic bomb detonated at an altitude of 300 miles above Kansas would cover the entire lower 48 states with a crippling EMP.

Sixty years ago, when electronics was in its infancy and most electrical devices relied on vacuum tubes, heavy cables, and mechanical types of switches, the effects of an EMP would in most cases be temporary (in fact, the Russians continued until relatively recently to use vacuum tube radios in their most advanced military aircraft, in part to mitigate the effects of an EMP). Automobiles would stop running as a result of the pulse, but then they would start up again right afterwards. Some wires and light bulbs would burn out, but they could be easily replaced.

Today, the effects of an EMP would be totally devastating. Unless properly shielded, potentially almost every device with electronic components could be rendered totally useless including computers, telephones, televisions, radios, GPS units, radar, automobiles, cat laser toys*, and countless other items. Planes in the air would literally crash. Hospitals would become charnel houses.  People would starve as there would be no way to order or transfer food to restock grocery stores. Since the entire banking system relies on computers, the economy would crash, and gold, ammunition, and Twinkies would become the new currency. As there would be no means of mass communication, anarchy and panic would immediately erupt. The persons most likely to survive the situation would be folks like the Amish.

You will note the above use of the term "unless properly shielded." Experts state that virtually nothing in the civilian arena is properly shielded. It is hoped that the military would at least design its equipment with the potential exposure to an EMP in mind, but the same experts further assert that since the Cold War ended, the emphasis has been on planning to replace equipment in the event of an EMP attack, rather than building it to withstand such an attack in the first place. I for one see absolutely no practical problems in the middle of a nuclear conflict in suddenly rebuilding and replacing all equipment used by the Defense Department which has electronic components.

An electromagnetic pulse can also be generated by non-nuclear means and is called, quite creatively, a "non-nuclear electromagnetic pulse" (NNEMP). The effects and range of such a pulse are far more limited than what can be generated by an atomic bomb, and discussion of them can wait for another day.

*Well, maybe not cat laser toys. Circuitry of a short length is less susceptible to EMP radiation.

THE PITFALLS OF BIRDWATCHING

By Dominic Sherony [CC BY-SA 2.0
 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)],
 via Wikimedia Commons

The prothonotary warbler is a perky little yellow bird found nesting in cavities in trees over water in swampy areas in the southeastern USA. Actually, "found" is the incorrect term, as the birds, being reclusive, small, and skittish, usually are not found at all. A sighting of one of these gorgeous creatures is a red-letter date in the life of any ornithologist and evokes the same type of excitement experienced by a golfer who shoots a hole-in-one. The prothonotary (named after clerks in the Roman Catholic Church who sported a bright yellow robe) warbler is not only eye candy to birdwatchers; it also played a pivotal role in modern US history.

Alger Hiss was another example of an aristocratic official in the US State Department as well as the United Nations. In 1948, an unctuous and self-proclaimed Red journalist named Whittaker Chambers accused Hiss of being a Commie and of conspiring with Chambers to further the cause of Marxism. These accusations made their way to the House Un-American Activities Committee, who interrogated Hiss concerning their veracity. Hiss had pretty well convinced the Committee members that he was not acquainted with Chambers and that Chambers's claims that he knew Hiss and that he had even briefly lived with him were poppycock. One freshly-elected junior congressman, however, a Californian named Richard M. Nixon, was still unsure about Hiss's version and convinced the HUAC to appoint a sub-committee, headed by Nixon, to determine whether it was Hiss or Chambers who was lying. 

This did not appear to be an easy task, as many of the details about Chambers's purported relationship with Hiss could have been fabricated based upon public information which Chambers, as an experienced journalist, could have unearthed. However, on August 7, 1948, while testifying before an executive session of the Committee unattended by Hiss, Chambers was asked if Hiss had any hobbies. Chambers replied, "Yes, he did. They both [Alger and his wife, Priscilla] had the same hobby--amateur ornithologists, bird observers. They used to get up early in the morning and go to Glen Echo, out the canal, to observe birds. I recall once they saw, to their great excitement, a prothonotary warbler."  

The Committee laid its trap. On August 16, 1948, Hiss testified again. Nixon innocently asked him, "What hobby, if any, do you have, Mr. Hiss?" Hiss indicated that he favored tennis and amateur ornithology. Congressman John McDowell, an amateur ornithologist himself, interjected, "Did you ever see a prothonotary warbler?" Hiss, believing that he was now engaged in an innocent and informal conversation with a fellow birdman, eagerly responded with "I have--right here on the Potomac. Do you know that place?"

Believing that there was no reasonable way that Chambers would have known that Hiss had seen a prothonotary warbler unless Chambers in fact had had a close relationship with Hiss, the Committee reversed its initial impression of Hiss's innocence and maintained a full-court press against him. Hiss sued Chambers  for libel when Chambers repeated his accusations outside of the Committee room. Chambers responded by saying that Hiss was not merely a Communist but was also a Communist spy. Eventually, when all the smoke had cleared, after it was apparent that both men had uttered various lies along the way, and after a dramatic search of a pumpkin on Chambers's farm yielded films of State Department documents purportedly originally obtained by Hiss, Hiss was charged with and convicted of perjury (the statute of limitations had run on the possible espionage charges) and was sentenced to five years in the federal pen on January 25, 1950.

Hiss was released in 1954. He was a stationery salesman for awhile but, in 1975, he was allowed to rejoin the Massachusetts bar and was authorized to practice law. He died in 1996 at the age of 92. Chambers continued to work as a journalist until his death in 1961 at the age of 60. Ronald Reagan posthumously awarded him the American Medal of Freedom in 1984, and Chambers's pumpkin farm was designated a historical landmark in 1988.

The downfall of Hess placed Nixon squarely in the public eye where he won election to the Senate in 1950, achieved the Vice-Presidency in 1952, and was ultimately elected President in 1968--only to resign as a result of scandal in 1974. 

The Hiss revelations also fueled the anti-Communist campaign of Senator Joseph McCarthy and the Red scare in America generally.

As for the particular prothonotary warbler who ultimately knocked Hiss off of his perch? He remained a recluse and his ultimate fate is still shrouded in mystery.

ALGER HISS

THE DAILY GRIND CIVIL WAR STYLE

Fans of True Grit and Quigley Down Under appreciate the quality and utility of the fine rifles made by Sharps in the 19th Century. These weapons were also favored by buffalo hunters due to their ability to lob a thumb-sized chunk of lead far distances with great accuracy and massive killing power.*

Yankee soldiers during the American Civil War also appreciated one other feature which was available on a small quantity of Sharps carbines and rifles--namely, a mill in the stock where a soldier could grind corn or wheat for breakfast for his unit. These firearms were general referred to as "coffee-grinders," but tests by the National Park Service suggest that they were far more effective at grinding grain than breaking down beans.

Today there are probably only about a dozen genuine "coffee-grinders" still known to exist, although reproductions abound. The real things are worth a fortune.

Photo by National Park Service/Springfield Armory

*However, the most famous bison slayer of them all, Buffalo Bill Cody, preferred using a Springfield Trapdoor rifle named "Lucretia Borgia."

THE NORTH KOREAN LINCOLNS

Part of the quaint charm of North Korea, besides its constant sword-rattling and brutality, is its mandatory idolatry of its head of state, its lavish devotion to spectacular propaganda events, and its unwavering loathing of everything to do with the United States except for basketball. Subsequently, its seems somewhat odd that during the majestic and highly choreographed funeral procession put on in December of 2011 for its dictator Kim Jong-il a/k/a "Dear Leader, Who is a Perfect Incarnation of the Appearance That a Leader Should Have," the casket was carried on top of a hunk of Detroit (well, technically speaking, Dearborn) iron--namely, a highly polished black 1976 Lincoln Continental stretch limousine. Not only that, the parade contained a second vintage Lincoln carrying an immense portrait of the Supreme Leader on its roof as well as a third Lincoln displaying a huge wreath.

In that the United States and North Korea have had only an armistice in place for over sixty years and are still officially in a state of conflict, it is hard to fathom how the Lincolns managed to get imported into that nation in violation of US law. It is possible that they were locally made and are simply clones of the American design (Communist regimes have done that sort of thing before), but this seems to be unlikely in view of the fact that the North Koreans could have more easily copied limos from many other countries which they did not totally despise. A more plausible explanation was given by an official of Ford of Japan, who indicated that one of its dealers had in the past been suspected of selling Ford products to North Korea in violation of Japanese law. This theory is corroborated by the presence of extra rear view mirrors mounted on the fenders near the front of the cars, which is a requirement in Japan but not in most other nations.

Ford headquarters in the USA has been very coy and reticent about commenting on the fact that its products were spotlighted in the funeral of one of the world's most notorious despots, but you can be sure that deep down the auto executives relished the free publicity.

Oh, and by the way, Lincolns were also used in the state funeral of Kim Jong-il's dad when he died in 1994.

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FOR THAT PEE-FRESH SOFTNESS

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Ancient Romans would take their dirty tunics to fullers, who would wash the garments in tubs of water by stomping on them like they were grapes.  For highly soiled garments, urine, because of its bleaching characteristics, would be collected from the public restrooms and would be substituted for the water.

The fuller business was often the largest commercial enterprise in a Roman town. Because most of the robes were white and easily showed the dirt, there was a lot of the liquid gold consumed in these laundries. Emperor Vespasian, in the true spirit of a bloated governments everywhere, imposed a tax on the urine so used. 

Fullers, although providing an essential service for the community, were often nonetheless regarded with derision because of their obsessive quest to gather their laundry "detergent."

For more information on fullers, please click here.

JOHN TYLER--"FATHER OF HIS COUNTRY"

John Tyler (1790-1862) was the tenth President of the United States and served from 1841 to 1845.  He was also the most fecund of the Presidents, having sired fifteen legitimate children through his two wives and possibly many more babies through his slaves. Amazingly, as of the date of this post (8/17/2024), one of his grandsons, Harrison Ruffin Tyler, is still alive.

HOBO NICKELS

From 1913 to 1938, the USA issued the "buffalo nickel" a/k/a the "Indian head nickel" (see above photo) as its five-cent piece. During the Great Depression, buffalo nickels became a favorite creative canvas for hobos to modify the design thereon by use of primitive tools such as nails or penknife blades. They would use these devices to turn the image of the Indian into a helmeted World War I soldier, a businessman sporting a bowler hat, and many other visages. Sometimes, they would also modify the bison on the reverse of the coin to resemble a hunchbacked man sitting on a toilet or some other scenario. On occasion, the engraver would include an anti-Semitic image or message.

Hobos engaged in this craft not merely to pass the time or satiate their creative outlets. The modified nickels, although technically worth five cents, could often be bartered for a dollar's worth of food.

Although there has always been a limited number of people carving on coins, the fad erupted in the case of buffalo nickels as a synergistic effect from the low face value of the coin (making the artistic medium cheap to acquire),  the large area of the coin covered by the image of head (making it much easier to engrave than say, Lincoln's head on the penny), and the large numbers of hobos existing during the Great Depression.

Hobo nickel manufacturing is not a lost art. There are skilled craftsmen today who, using sophisticated engraving equipment, turn out miniature masterpieces--sometimes totally removing the image of the Indian and using the face of the nickel as a blank page. These aesthetic achievements are usually easily distinguished from the far more primitive 1930s production examples. In addition, because buffalo nickels in decent condition are hard to find, and because some date and mint mark combinations are highly valuable, a modern engraving is more likely to have been done on a coin with a common date/mint mark and in poorer condition.

To see many more examples of both modern and older hobo nickels, simply visit The Original Hobo Nickel Society website.

By Danthoms (Own work)
[CC BY-SA 4.0
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)],
 via Wikimedia Commons

THE CLUMSY VASA

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Unlike the Sweden of modern times which is usually associated with neutrality, blond furniture, and incomprehensible art films about Thanatos playing chess, the Sweden of the early 1600s was a veritable butt-kicking highly militaristic expansionistic state consistent with its Viking ancestry. Although the Swedish navy at that time had been well-served with small but fast and deadly warships, the king, for reasons of prestige, ordered the construction of a fleet of huge lumbering war galleons bristling with two rows of guns as well as extremely high decks which would be useful when boarding other vessels. The first, largest, and most ornate of these galleons and the pride of the Swedish fleet was the Vasa. On the launch of its maiden voyage in 1628, the Vasa majestically sailed into the middle of the harbor of Stockholm and immediately capsized and sank.

The king was displeased and ordered that the responsible party or parties be located and brought to a swift and probably very unpleasant justice. In a scenario remarkably similar to the investigation of modern airplane crashes, the builder and designer of the boat claimed that it was the negligence of the crew; the crew (or at least the surviving members) insisted that the boat was designed and built top-heavy and was inherently unseaworthy. The shipbuilder maintained that he had originally wanted to spend more time and expense to incorporate a much wider and more stable hull but had been overruled by the king. It also became clear that the Captain had been ordered by the king to put on as impressive a show as possible for the foreign dignitaries at the launching and had thus violated the standard safety rules that you do not put a new ship under full sail and keep all of the gun ports open until after it has successfully passed its initial shakedown cruise. The king quietly abandoned his quest to assign blame for the disaster.

As revealed by this link, modern researchers have determined that the vessel was in fact inherently unseaworthy. The shipbuilder, unfamiliar with vessels of multiple gun decks, overcompensated for the weight of the guns and incorporated too much lumber into the design, thus making the ship top-heavy. In addition, the workers building the ship used two different kinds of rulers in making their measurements. The Swedish foot was about one inch longer than the Amsterdam foot. The workers apparently used Swedish rulers on the port side and Amsterdam on the starboard, resulting in an asymmetrical vessel which automatically leaned towards the larger port side. The sailing of the vessel with open gun ports was the final nail in the coffin.

Unlike the Swedes, the Spanish, English, French, Dutch, and Portuguese had good luck building and sailing these ponderous types of vessels. In fact, in many instances, they got over 20,000 miles per galleon.

The Vasa was raised in 1961 and is now in a museum in Sweden. It is the only surviving galleon in the world, primarily because the cold water in Stockholm Harbor spared the wood from shipworms and because the intense pollution present in the harbor water for centuries killed off any wood-eating bacteria. Once the ship was raised, exposure to the air of the wood which had been impregnated with pollutants for over 300 years produced and is still producing huge quantities of sulphuric acid and formic acid, which make conservation of the ship difficult.

Thanks to the Disney Pirates of the Caribbean film series, millions of people now know what the Vasa looks like. It was the model for the movies’ spectral pirate vessel The Flying Dutchman.

STAR FRUIT--THE DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE OF THE PRODUCE COUNTER

When I was a youth, I never saw or even heard of star fruit. It was native to Sri Lanka (back then it was called "Ceylon") and the Spice Islands, while bananas and pineapples were about the only tropical fruit which could be found in my small-town grocery store. However, the fact that star fruit is now also grown in Florida and Hawaii coupled with modern efficient means of transportation means that it is becoming ubiquitous and can frequently be obtained at your local supermarket.

Unlike pretentiously titled fruit such as kumquats or pomegranates, the origin of the name of star fruit is pretty obvious. Slicing the body of the fruit transversely yields cross-section pieces which are shaped like five-pointed stars. This feature makes the cheerful yellow-green star fruit slices a festive visual addition for salads and desserts. The fruit also has a flavor which can be either sweet or tart and which many people find delightful and similar to a blend of lemon with pineapple. Star fruit is also low in calories and rich in fiber, antioxidants, vitamin C, potassium, and B-complex vitamins.

In short, star fruit would be a good addition to the diet of any healthy individual.

Yet, star fruit also has a dark, evil side. It contains the deadly neurotoxin caramboxin. People with good-functioning kidneys eliminate the caramboxin before it does any harm and are not affected adversely (at least, not as far as anyone knows at this time) by its brief presence in the body. In individuals with kidney disease, however, the poison sticks around and can prove to be fatal.

To learn more about our foe caramboxin, go to the Phys.org website.

The bottom line is, if you are in good health with happy kidneys, go ahead and enjoy the occasional star fruit. Just be sure not to feed it to any guest who is in dialysis or otherwise has impaired renal function.

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THE COMMIE PLOT AGAINST JOHN WAYNE

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Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin was a diehard movie enthusiast and essentially determined what would and would not appear in the films produced within his country. He was the ultimate Russian film critic, and by ultimate, I mean that he had more than one director shot when the product was found to be wanting. He had trouble sometimes distinguishing between fiction and reality and often made major policy decisions for his country based on something he saw on the silver screen.

Stalin identified with the movie stereotype of the lone cowboy who reluctantly goes into town and kills off all of the bad guys simply because it was the right thing to do. Although he was an admirer of John Wayne's frequent appearances in such roles, he also detested Wayne personally because Wayne was a fervent anti-communist. As a result, Stalin ordered a hit on Wayne in 1951 and sent two Soviet agents to America to kill him.

The FBI obtained word of the plot and notified Wayne. The two Soviet agents, ironically masquerading as FBI agents, arranged to meet Wayne at the studio. The real FBI agents arrested the Soviets and, at Wayne's request, put them temporarily in the custody of the Duke and some of his stuntmen.

Wayne and the stunt crew took the would-be assassins down to the beach, indicated that the Soviets would be shot, and made them kneel while holding pistols at the back of their heads. The movie crew then shifted their weapons to the side and fired blanks. Wayne then turned the Soviets back over to the FBI. The Soviet agents, realizing that Stalin would not be pleased with them if they were shipped back to Mother Russia with their task not completed, defected and cooperated with the American authorities.

In 1958, Wayne had an opportunity to speak privately with Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev. Khrushchev revealed that he had cancelled the assassination order upon Stalin's death.

Notwithstanding Khrushchev's disclaimer, there were additional communist attempts on Wayne's life, including one in Mexico in 1953 when Wayne was filming Hondo. There was also a plot in 1955 by homegrown pinkos in Burbank, California, which was derailed by Wayne's stunt crew who ran the would-be murderers out of town. In 1966, when Wayne was visiting American troops in Vietnam, a Red Chinese sniper was captured who was attempting to kill Wayne. The sniper revealed that Chairman Mao Tse Tung had put a price on Wayne's head.

These assassination attempts were first publicly revealed in film historian Michael Munn's book John Wayne: The Man Behind the Myth. Munn cites interviews with several independent sources for his information; unfortunately, all of these sources were dead by the time the book was published. However, despite the bizarre nature of the tale, it is probably true. Stalin (as well as Chairman Mao) clearly had the arrogance, ruthlessness, and chutzpah to order a hit on an American movie icon. And, if anyone could pursuade the FBI to turn over enemy agents to a private party for personal retribution in the days of J. Edgar Hoover, it certainly would have been John Wayne, who was the poster child for arch-conservatism and anti-communism as well as being a Hollywood demi-god.

THE PISCATORIAL INVASION OF JAPAN

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In 1960, Japan's Crown Prince (and current Emperor) Akihito visited Chicago. Mayor Daley (the original one), realizing that Akihito was a student of ichthyology, gave him some Illinois bluegill. The Prince was very pleased and took his new charges home, where they ultimately escaped into Japanese waters and enthusiastically reproduced.  

As a result, these Japanese waters are currently choked with bluegill, and least one native species became extinct as a result. The problem is further complicated by the fact that most Japanese do not like the flavor of bluegill and have no desire to cull them by fishing. Akihito, who was very embarrassed by the situation and who felt rather crappie about what had happened, convinced his government to collaborate with chefs to come up with delicious bluegill recipes and is encouraging his subjects to eat the American invaders into oblivion.

THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL FOR ARCHITECTURE?

Between 1912 and 1948, Olympic medals were awarded for architecture, music, painting, sculpture, and literature (further divided into the subcategories of dramatic works, lyrical works, and epic poetry). All entries had to be related to the "Olympic ideal" (perhaps something like "The Ballad of Tonya Harding"). 

The Nazi regime exploited these events during the 1936 Olympics by submitting numerous propaganda items and, because of the large number of German judges, scored a significant hoard of medals. 

Most of these entries throughout the years were of mediocre quality at best, as professional artists were reluctant to submit their works in a competition which did not originate in the art world, which had thematic limitations, and in which artists would suffer a loss to their reputations if they did not win a medal. Further, Olympic officials did not really want professionals, as the games were theoretically for amateurs, and the artistic categories were dropped with the 1952 Olympics.

Further, there was no requirement that a medal be awarded at all or that the best competitor would receive gold. As an example, the renowned Czech composer Josef Suk was the sole contestant in the music category in the 1932 Los Angeles Olympiad, yet he was awarded only a silver medal for what the judges apparently thought was an OK but not a great submission. 

Speaking of music, it was not played for the judges. They just reviewed the written score.  

In many cases, the winning items in the artistic categories have been lost in the Stygian bowels of history, and no one even remembers what they were.

For additional information on the fine arts competitions in the Olympics, please read this article in The Atlantic.