Monday, June 30, 2025

THE GRISLY SAGA OF THE WEST VIRGINIA THREE

One of the battleships sunk at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941 was the West Virginia. Six months after the attack, the vessel was refloated and the remains of 66 crewmen were recovered. The salvage team made the ghastly discovery of the bodies of three crewmen who had been trapped under the water in a sealed compartment and who had survived until December 23 when either their air or water supply had become depleted. The doomed men had kept track of the time by marking through the days on a calendar.  

This discovery was not a surprise to the sentries who had been patrolling the damaged vessels in the harbor after the attack, as they had heard and had been tormented by the sounds of the slowly expiring crewmen pounding on the hull below the waterline.

The relatives of the 66 men were informed that all of the casualties had died on December 7. The story of the three trapped crewmen was not released until several decades later.

The West Virginia was eventually fully repaired and upgraded and served with distinction in several campaigns in the Pacific.  She was put in mothballs in 1947 and decommissioned and sold for scrap in 1959.

Sunday, June 29, 2025

THE FELINE PUGILISTIC KINETOGRAPH


Depending on your viewpoint, one of the most delightful or one of the most abhorrent features available on the internet is the plethora of videos of kitties doing cute things. The origins of this controversial practice can be traced back to 1894, when Thomas Edison, in one of his extremely early movies, recorded two cats equipped with boxing gloves duking it out in a ring. Unfortunately, history is silent on which boxer ultimately prevailed, as the film ends before the fight does.

If you wish to see the first cat video ever made, click here. For further information on Edison's early film projects, try this link to Smithsonian Magazine.

Saturday, June 28, 2025

THE ORANGE BRAWL

The town of Ivrea in northern Italy has a battle each year which consists of huge crowds of people throwing millions of oranges at each other for three days. It can get somewhat sticky.

The tradition originated in 1194 when nobleman Conte Rainieri di Biandrate tried to employ Le droit du Seigneur* against Violetta, the bride of one of his subjects. Violetta construed this as a form of sexual harassment. In response, she decapitated the noble and displayed his head from his balcony. The townfolk then revolted and burned down his castle.

Depending on whom you believe, 1) the throwing of the oranges represents the throwing of stones by the peasants against the castle or 2) the oranges represent the head of the nobleman and the pulp his blood.

Oddly enough, oranges are not native to Ivrea, and tons of them have to be shipped in from the south for the festival.

*Le droit du Seigneur refers to the purported ritual in medieval Europe where a lord had the right, if not the duty, to deflower a peasant bride on her wedding night prior to turning her over to her husband. Many historians claim that the practice actually never formally existed in Europe but merely represents a nobleman taking unfair advantage of his position. The distinction, if any, probably mattered little to the unfortunate newlyweds.

Friday, June 27, 2025

THE STELLAR REINFORCEMENT

Many brick or masonry buildings built prior to the 20th century have iron stars or other geometric shapes on the outside walls.  Each device, often called an "anchor plate," is actually a giant washer at the end of a rod which runs through the building and is fastened by another similar plate on the outside wall of the opposite side of the structure.  This rod braces the building and helps prevent it from shifting or collapsing.  These anchoring systems are especially common in towns susceptible to hurricanes or earthquakes, such as Charleston, South Carolina or San Francisco.  In many cases, the systems were installed after a natural disaster struck in order to prevent further movement of an already damaged structure.

By GrammarFascist (Own work)
[CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)],
 via Wikimedia Commons

Thursday, June 26, 2025

SITCOM NAIVETE

Due both to the relative novelty of TV sitcoms in 1951 and the fact that Lucille Ball was married in real life to Desi Arnaz, many early viewers of I Love Lucy thought that the show was a reality series where a camera crew followed Lucy around and filmed her real-life adventures of stomping grapes, working in a chocolate candy factory, turning her apartment into an armed fort to defend against suspicious-behaving neighbors, etc.


Wednesday, June 25, 2025

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY (FORTUNATELY)

By Natalie Maynor [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

During World War II, German U-boats roamed the Gulf of Mexico looking for Allied shipping from southern ports. Once in a while, a Nazi sub would intercept a civilian pleasure craft and then let it go after pillaging it for food and water. Ernest Hemingway, who resided in Cuba at the time, convinced the US Navy to loan him a Thompson submachine gun and grenades so that he could go hunting for subs in the Pilar, his 38-foot cabin cruiser/fishing boat (pictured above). Hemingway's plan was to entice a surfaced sub to approach his boat for boarding. He would then kill any of the crew on the deck of the U-boat with his Thompson and then drop grenades and a homemade explosive device down the conning tower to take care of the remaining enemy. 

Hemingway saw only one sub, and that one refused to take the bait and instead sailed off into the sunset. This was very fortunate for Hemingway's two young children, who often accompanied him on these missions. Notwithstanding the element of surprise, it was very naive and unrealistically optimistic of Hemingway to believe that a cabin cruiser, even one with a submachine gun and grenades, would not have been instantly annihilated by a trained German Kriegsmarine crew and the sub's deck gun. 

Some cynics have even suggested that the scheme was primarily a ruse so that Hemingway could endear himself to the Cuban authorities and obtain extra gas rations as well as avoid arrest while driving around drunk in his boat.

Tuesday, June 24, 2025

FEELING LOUSY


One of the most popular forms of recreation for the troops during the Civil War was louse racing. Each soldier would put his favorite louse in the middle of a mess plate with the others, and the louse which reached the edge first would bring his owner fame and fortune. One infantryman insisted on using a single louse on a plate and timing the results, but he was disqualified when it was discovered that he was heating his plate to motivate his steed to move faster. 

Although the combatants were often infested with the three main types of lice--head, body, and crab--the body lice were far more ubiquitous. Considering the fact that the troops wore wool uniforms which they often did not change for months, this phenomenon is not surprising.

Depending on the allegiance of the infected combatant, lice were known by a variety of names, such as bluebellies, rebels, tigers, Bragg's body-guard, Zouaves, graybacks, and just plain vermin. A soldier who killed lice was "fighting under the black flag." If he threw away his licey garments, he was "giving them a parole." If he wore his clothes inside out, he was "executing a flank movement." 

One method of partial louse removal was to briefly suspend the infested garment in the flames of the campfire until the little fellows started popping like an Orville Redenbacher product. Another favorite technique was to boil the verminous garments in a stew pot when the cook was not using it.

Despite the companionship they provided, many soldiers did not welcome the lice due to the fact that their bites transmitted typhus.

Monday, June 23, 2025

HOW MARK TWAIN CHEATED AT POOL


Mark Twain was extremely fond of cats and always had several in his household throughout his life. In fact, when he had to move to New Hampshire on a project for two months, he rented four felines from a neighbor for the duration. 

His family members knew that if they had to interrupt him at work to solve a problem or grant a request, they should always carry a household kitten with them to soften Twain up.

Twain trained one of his cats (or, more likely, the cat trained Twain) to hunker down hidden in one of the pockets on his pool table prior to Twain shooting a game with a guest. When the guest would try to sink a ball into the pocket, the cat would bat it away with his paw. 

Sunday, June 22, 2025

THE STRAIGHT POOP

Folks from Asia, Africa, and parts of Europe and Latin America generally suffer fewer instances of colitis, constipation, or hemorrhoids than their counterparts in the USA or the United Kingdom--all due to their style of defecation.

Specifically, the puborecatlis muscle is in charge of clamping down on the rectum and keeping the feces bottled up until the user is prepared to perform No. 2.  The standard American toilet (which we Yanks stole from the Brits) puts the participant in a seated position, which leaves this clamping muscle in a partially closed configuration and requires much more straining, effort, and time on the part of the user to void bowels.  As any proctologist will tell you, the more time you spend on a standard toilet, the more likely you will develop 'rhoid rage--hence that old procto battle cry condemning reading on the porcelain throne of "the bathroom is not a library."

The people in many other nations, however, either have no toilet at all and squat on the ground or use a toilet specifically designed to place the pooper in a squatting position.  Use of a squatting toilet fully relaxes the puborecatlis muscle and allows for the easy transport of the browns to the super bowl.

The higher the seat in a standard toilet, the more likely it is to interfere with free and joyful fecal unburdening.

A video can be worth a thousand words. This one, an advertisement for the "Squatty Potty," explains it all. As I do not own this product, I cannot opine one way or the other with respect to its efficacy. I can truthfully report, however, that I found its ad to be witty, informative, and "tasteful" in every sense of the word. 

If you liked the commercial, click here to see the geniuses who created it ply their trade.

Saturday, June 21, 2025

FROM SOAP TO CHEWING GUM

In  1891, William Wrigley, Jr. moved to Chicago to find additional markets for his father's soap business. As a promotion, he initially offered a free box of baking soda with each bar of soap. When he discovered that the baking soda was far more popular than his soap, he abandoned the soap and concentrated on selling the baking soda. He then offered free chewing gum as a further incentive to buy the baking soda. You can probably figure out what happened next.

Friday, June 20, 2025

DID HITLER HAVE A JEWISH ANCESTOR?


Some historians have claimed that Adolf Hitler's father, Alois Hitler, pictured above, was the illegitimate offspring of a maid named Maria Schickelgruber and a Jewish man whose last name was Frankenberger.

DNA studies done in 2010 of 39 living descendents of Alois Hitler reveal that they have a chromosome group called Haplogroup E1b1b1, which is rare among western Europeans but is common in Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews.

Adolf Hitler, if he did have one Jewish grandparent, would have been defined as a Jew under the Nazi racial purity laws and legally would have been subject to the same treatment provided by the Nazis to all other Jews.

Did Adolf Hitler actually have a Jewish grandfather? It certainly appears possible, but we will probably never know for sure. There are certainly other carriers of the Haplogroup E1b1b1 chromosome group who are not of Jewish descent. One of them is pictured below.

Thursday, June 19, 2025

THE WORDS TO "STAR TREK"

Alexander Courage composed the original Star Trek instrumental theme song for the pilot show in exchange for the right to receive royalties each time the music was played during the regular season and after syndication. This was regarded as a sucker's bet by most top-notch composers, as they fully expected that the show would immediately crash and burn--both because it was produced by Desilu Studios, which had a lousy record with pilots that never made it into a regular series, and because it was based on a weird science fiction premise.

Two years before the series was released, creator Gene Roddenberry (pictured above) pressured Courage into a deal where Courage would have to share the royalties with Roddenberry if Roddenberry composed lyrics for the song. A year after the show came out, Roddenberry drew up some words to the tune and become legally entitled to half of the royalties. Roddenberry never actually used and never intended to use the lyrics, but the fact that Roddenberry composed them was enough to give him an equal share of the royalties forever after.

When Courage protested that Roddenberry acted unethically and composed the lyrics for the sole purpose of screwing Courage out of half of the royalties, Roddenberry purportedly responded with "Hey, I have to get some money somewhere.  I'm sure not going to get it out of the profits of Star Trek."

Here are the lyrics to Star Trek you will probably never hear sung unless you do it yourself:

Beyond 
The rim of the star-light 
My love 
Is wand'ring in star-flight 
I know 
He'll find in star-clustered reaches 
Love, 
Strange love a star woman teaches. 
I know 
His journey ends never 
His star trek 
Will go on forever. 
But tell him 
While he wanders his starry sea 
Remember, remember me.

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

DISNEY CATS

Since 1955, there have been large numbers of feral cats living at Disneyland. Accounts differ on whether or not the felines were intentionally introduced there at first or were mere trespassers, but there are now about 200+ of them who enjoy the park. Voluntary animal protection groups spay and neuter the adults and put any kittens discovered up for adoption on the outside. The resident cats sleep away the day in numerous kitty condos hidden among the attractions and come out at night and early morning to feast on rats, discarded food scraps, or real cat food at one of several feeding stations.

Tuesday, June 17, 2025

WHY BARNS ARE RED


Until the mid 1850s, farmers almost always made their own paint, as commercial products were not readily available. Typically, they would mix milk or lime with a base of linseed oil. They often then added powdered rust (which also acted as a fungicide for the wood) or blood from slaughtered animals, as either of these ingredients was readily available. The presence of the blood or rust (or both) produced a paint with a dark red hue, which is why barns were painted that color for centuries until it simply became a matter of tradition.

Monday, June 16, 2025

THE NON-GERMAN GERMAN CHOCOLATE CAKE


The German chocolate cake has nothing to do with Germany. The chocolate used in the cake was developed by Sam German in 1852 and was originally marketed by Baker's Chocolate Company as "Baker's German's Sweet Chocolate."

The recipe for the cake itself first showed up in 1957, when it was published in a Dallas newspaper from a submission by a homemaker--a very inspired homemaker at that.

Sunday, June 15, 2025

THE ROLEX HONOR SYSTEM

British pilots in World War II prized Rolex watches because of their phenomenal accuracy. Unfortunately, German troops who captured downed airmen also coveted the watches and confiscated them as wonderful trophies--almost as desirable as Zippo lighters or American .45 pistols.

Hans Wildorf was a German expatriate who moved to Switzerland and founded the Rolex company. Displeased with the actions of his former countrymen, Wildorf had a standing offer that he would immediately send a replacement watch to any British airman who wrote to him and explained that his watch had been taken by the Germans. Wildorf would send the watch to the Stalag where the recipient was imprisoned* along with an invoice indicating that the Brit was not to "even think about settlement during the war." Most airmen honored their commitment and paid their watch bill upon their release after the end of the conflict. 

One of the Rolexes provided through this promotion was used to time the movements of the prison guards as portrayed in The Great Escape.

The Brits raved to their American allies about the glories of the program and of the Rolex watch itself. As a result, Rolex, which had been a relatively obscure brand, suddenly become the must-have watch in both the United Kingdom and America.

*Apparently, prison guards from the Luftwaffe in those camps housing captured airmen maintained a code of conduct where they did not routinely steal jewelry from their charges. 

Saturday, June 14, 2025

A REALLY COOL TURTLE


Most reptiles and amphibians in northern climates survive the winter by burying themselves in land or in the mud at the bottom of a pond below the ice level and achieving a torpid metabolic status pretty close to death. Almost all of their bodily processes are nearly shut down, and they even stop eating a while before their long rest so that there is no waste material in their colon lingering as a potential source of infection. If you were to dig up a herptile in its winter slumber, it would appear lifeless--at least upon casual observation.

The common snapping turtle (Chelydra serpentina), is an exception to the "total lethargy rule." While snappers generally follow the above procedures of hunkering down in the mud during the cold months and doing nothing, It is not unusual to spot some snappers in midwinter who are not sleeping with the fishes but who instead are actually swimming around in a pond underneath a sheet of ice. Although snapping turtles normally insert their head above water every few minutes to breathe (as they, of course, have lungs--not gills), a snapper in the northern USA may be sealed under ice for four or five months without the ability to take a single breath.

How do they survive? Well, a snapper can absorb a small amount of oxygen from the water through membranes in its throat and mouth in a process called "extrapulmonary respiration;" however, this procedure by itself is often not adequate to provide the metabolic needs of a moving turtle. The creative chelonian will then start burning sugar and fat in an inefficient anaerobic attempt aimed at avoiding oxygen utilization. This process builds up a lot of bad metabolites, such as lactic acid. It is believed by many learned guys that the turtle uses the calcium in its shell as a buffer against the excess acid.

We have had a couple of pet snapping turtles throughout the years (a choice not for everyone--remember they are called SNAPPING turtles). One of them, Arnold, would go in a pseudo-hibernating state each winter and would not feed from October to March. I could never figure out how Arnold knew when winter arrived, as he resided in a large tank in an interior room which had consistent artificial lighting and a consistent temperature all year round.

Oh, and remember how the sex of Nile crocodiles is determined by the temperature of the eggs? Ditto for snappers.



Friday, June 13, 2025

THE 1953 CORVETTE--OFF TO A BAD START

When the first Corvette rolled off the assembly line in 1953, it would not start, much to the embarrassment of GM executives who had invited the press to witness the event.

The executives should have been embarrassed, because the problem was that the assembly team failed to realize that it could not ground an electrical system to a fiberglass car body.


Thursday, June 12, 2025

THE HIRSUTE EQUATION

Rapunzel's hairy ladder is actually quite plausible, provided that it was long enough. A strand of human hair is strong enough to hold 3.5 ounces. The average princess has 100,000 to 150,000 hairs on her head, which means that a hair rope could possibly support approximately 16 tons without breaking. However, before trying directly to lift sixteen tons of Number 9 coal with your golden locks, don't forget that it only takes about one ounce to pull a single hair from your scalp. In other words, hoisting anything much over 3 tons will rip your ponytail right out of your scalp--unless you wrap the hair around a window hook first, like Rapunzel did. And, parenthetically, if you thereafter gave the hair to someone else, you might even be charged with tress-passing.

Wednesday, June 11, 2025

UNSAFE AT ANY SPEED?

In the late 1950s, Volkswagen beetles were sucking away large numbers of car buyers who relished the VW's much higher gas mileage when compared to heavy American sedans. Chevrolet General Manager Ed Cole responded by coming out with the Corvair in 1960. The Corvair was a revolutionary design and featured an aluminum air-cooled engine in the rear which provided excellent performance and 29 MPG (which was astounding at the time). However, unlike the VW beetle, it was relatively spacious inside and could carry six passengers. 

It had only two minor flaws. First, because of the uneven weight distribution with the engine in the rear, the car was prone to spinning out of control unless the tires were exactly at the correct inflation at all times. It was difficult for the average lazy motorist to constantly monitor his or her tire pressures every time the temperature changed a few degrees, and many owners did not realize that the rear tires had to have substantially higher pressure than the front.

Second, when the car did spin out of control, the crash was often fatal, as there was nothing in the front of the car except the trunk to absorb the impact.

The stability problem could have been reduced considerably with the addition of a simple iron bar bolted to the front of the car, and the original GM test models had this feature. However, GM wanted to save a a dollar or two per unit and eliminated the bar from general production--although it did add the bar a few years later when enough customers were getting killed--including famed comedian Ernie Kovacs.

Ralph Nader, then an unknown young attorney, wrote a book in 1965 called Unsafe at Any Speed. It was not particularly flattering to the Corvair. Nader became an expert witness in lawsuits involving Corvair accidents, and GM started investigating him, which resulted in a privacy invasion lawsuit by Nader against GM (which was settled in 1970 for $425,000, or about $3.5 million in current dollars). 

One major fallout of the Corvair litigation was the acceptance by the courts of a new theory of product liability. Previously, only a defectively manufactured product could engender liability on the part of the maker. After the Corvair suits, the law was expanded to make the manufacturer liable if the product was poorly designed, even if manufactured correctly.

Corvair safety ended up in Senate hearings and the passing of the National Traffic and Motor Vehicle Safety Act in 1966, which further encouraged Congress to pass various other laws regulating other agencies on products ranging from pipelines to X-ray machines to chickens.

Due to plummeting sales resulting from the adverse publicity, GM killed the Corvair in 1969. In 1972, the federal government exonerated GM and declared that there was in fact no abnormal problem with the suspension or handling of the car. 

Ed Cole, disgraced by the whole Corvair experience, nonetheless went on to become President of GM. One of his later contributions was the development of the catalytic converter for pollution control.

In short, Cole's desire to trump VW had several unforeseen consequences:

1. Ralph Nader was elevated to consumer advocate Tsar and he, with his organization of Nader's Raiders, became a gadfly against both governmental entities and corporations. Because of his fame, he ran for President in 2000, sucked up 95,000 votes in Florida (most of which would have gone to Al Gore), and gave the Presidential election to George W. Bush.

2. Lawsuits against corporations increased exponentially as a result of the Corvair cases, including a $2.9 million judgment against McDonald's for brewing its coffee at 180 degrees.

3. Federal bureaucrats, some competent, and some not, now determine options, equipment, and features you must get or cannot get in your new car.

By Greg Gjerdingen from Willmar, USA (64 Chevrolet Corvair Monza)
 [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)],
 via Wikimedia Commons



Tuesday, June 10, 2025

ROBERT WISE--EXTORTIONIST


The major plot element in the 1965 movie The Sound of Music was the desire of the members of the von Trapp family to flee their native Austria so that Baron von Trapp was not forced to serve in Hitler's navy. The pivotal historical event which precipitated this family's crisis was the 1938 Anschluss, where Austria was incorporated as part of the Third Reich.

Almost all of the movie was shot in or around Salzburg, Austria. Director Robert Wise wanted to illustrate vividly the day that the Anschluss occurred by showing a huge swastika banner being unfurled on the Residenze Palace (one of the most significant historical buildings in Salzburg). The horrified municipal authorities flatly refused his request to do so. Wise calmly responded by stating that he would incorporate instead into the movie actual archival footage from 1938 showing hordes of Austrians gleefully welcoming Hitler and the German Army into their country.

Wise was allowed to use his swastika banner after all.

Monday, June 9, 2025

A HIGHLY UNCOUTH PRESIDENT

Lyndon Johnson was one of the vilest Presidents (although faced with stiff competition for this honor) with respect to finely-executed belching, creative profanity, unrepentant marital infidelity, and all-round vulgarity.  He was, in addition, the greatest exhibitionist who occupied the White House.  LBJ was very fond of public urination and frequently engaged in the practice.  In addition, when one reporter asked Johnson why he was prosecuting the war in Vietnam, Johnson unzipped his pants (Johnson's pants, not the reporter's), drew out his penis (which he had modestly named "Jumbo") and said "This is why."

LBJ bragged about his sexual conquests and even tried to pick up females in front of his long-suffering wife. He claimed that that he had "had more women by accident than Kennedy did on purpose." 

The President was so proud of Jumbo that he ordered constructed a shower stall in the White House with a separate nozzle aimed directly at his Johnson.

Sunday, June 8, 2025

HOW WE ALMOST LOST LT. UHURA

Photo courtesy of NASA

In 1966, Nichelle Nichols was the first African-American woman to be given a major part in a TV series which did not involve the portrayal of a subservient or highly racially stereotyped character. She played Lt. Uhura, which was a significant role in Star Trek. However, NBC was afraid of angering its southern affiliates if it were to officially sign her on as a regular, so she was hired as a "day worker," even though she appeared in almost every episode. Ironically, this system paid her more than any of the regular actors, who were kept uninformed about this fact. Her high wages were not enough to compensate her for NBC studio officials constantly trying to minimize her part, uttering racial comments in her presence, and withholding her fan mail, and she planned on quitting after the first season. However, she was persuaded not to do so by Dr. Martin Luther King, who pleaded with her not to abdicate her position as the leading positive black role model on television.

Saturday, June 7, 2025

WHERE DOES A KOMODO DRAGON SLEEP? ANYWHERE IT WANTS

Komodo dragons hunt large animals by leaping from ambush and biting and clawing their prey. If the dragon fails to disembowel its victim on the first strike, it will then patiently wait for the target animal to weaken and die. Zoologists had always presumed that the cause of death in this situation was sepsis provoked by the numerous strains of bacteria which live in the mouth of a dragon.

However, researchers have now discovered that the giant lizards are in fact venomous and that the hemotoxic poison that they deliver when chomping on their victims causes a dramatic drop in blood pressure and internal bleeding which kills their dinner. The venom contains chemical components similar to that of the Australian Taipan, which is one of the deadliest snakes in the world.

Essentially, a Komodo dragon is pretty much like a Gila monster except that it is far more venomous, is highly aggressive, is ten feet long, and weighs over 300 pounds. Also, while a Gila monster may bite you in self-defense, a Komodo dragon will actually actively pursue you because it wants to eat you. For these reasons, some herpetologists recommend that these dragons not be kept as house pets.

Friday, June 6, 2025

THE STRANGE D-DAY SAGA OF YANG KYOUNGJONG

 (U.S. National Archives and Records Administration)
[Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

It appears likely that the first enemy combatants captured by the Allied forces during the D-Day invasion of June 6, 1944, were not Germans. They were Koreans.

Yang Kyoungjong, one of the Koreans, joined the Japanese Army in 1938 after it had conquered Korea (it is not clear if he did so voluntarily or involuntarily). He was used as cannon fodder by the Japanese in their undeclared border war with the USSR and Mongolia. The Russians captured him and then used him as cannon fodder against the Germans. The Germans captured him and intended to use him as cannon fodder against the Allies. He was then apprehended by the Allies early on in the Normandy invasion. His three Korean companions who were rounded up with him had similar military experiences. 

It would have completed the cycle had the Americans then impressed Kyoungjong for use against the Japanese, but his captors thought at first that he was Japanese himself and instead kept him penned up as a prisoner of war in a camp in England (after all, he had been caught in a German uniform). 

After the war, he moved to Evanston, Illinois and lived there until he died in 1992. His children had no knowledge of his exploits until after his death.

  

Thursday, June 5, 2025

THE GOAT AMBUSH FUTILITY

Have you ever noticed that there is something discordant, if not diabolical, about a goat looking at you? If so, the problem may be its eyes. Goats are unusual in that they have horizontal bar-shaped pupils. These give them great peripheral vision, and a goat can almost see behind itself without turning its head. Optics of this nature are very useful for those animals who wish to avoid a predator having them over for dinner.

Bovines and some birds also have similar pupils, but those of goats, for some reason, seem far more conspicuous.

Wednesday, June 4, 2025

AVIAN DOUBLE STANDARDS

The house wren (Troglodytes aedon) is a small, aggressive songbird found throughout much of the United States. It will often take over the nesting sites of other birds.

The house sparrow (Passer domesticus) is a small, aggressive songbird found throughout much of the United States. It will often take over the nesting sites of other birds.

House wrens are loved by most ornithologists. The manufacturing of birdhouses specifically designed for wrens is a major cottage (so to speak) industry. It is a federal offense to molest or harm a wren, its eggs, or its active nest.

House sparrows are reviled by most ornithologists. The bird folks actively discourage the making of birdhouses suitable for sparrows, and they further advocate that the entrance holes in wren houses be of such a size that the slightly larger house sparrow cannot fit into them. House sparrows are not federally protected, and you will not end up in Leavenworth Penitentiary if you humanely kill one or destroy its eggs or nest (although such actions will still subject you to scrutiny from a higher authority). 

Why are house wrens treated like royalty while house sparrows are reviled as the scum-sucking spawn of outhouse maggots? The answer is simple--xenophobia. House wrens are native to the United States. House sparrows were imported in the mid-1800s for pest control and instead became pests themselves. The fact that many Americans have never seen a bluebird can be attributed in large part to the fact that house sparrows evicted so many of them from their nesting sites.

While one cannot gainsay the undesirability of letting invasive species take over (such as with the rabbit crisis in Australia or the python assault of Florida), there may well be a point where the barn door has not merely been opened but has been blown off of its hinges. Although house sparrow populations have declined somewhat with the industrialization of farms, these birds are still ubiquitous and do quite well in both urban and rural settings. Perhaps we should just resign ourselves to the fact that house sparrows are here to stay. After all, there is no way that a single species consisting of hundreds of millions of individual birds could be eliminated in a matter of a few years--is there?


HOUSE WREN

HOUSE SPARROW (male)