THE MOBILE MEAT GRINDER

Photo from Lane Motor Museum website https://www.lanemotormuseum.org

The Lane Motor Museum in Nashville, Tennessee, has an extensive and awe-inspiring collection of European automobiles. It is definitely worth seeing. Further, most of its exhibits are not of the ordinary and mundane.The museum is a haven for many vehicles which can be described only as bizarre and gobsmacking.

Probably the weirdest of the weird in the museum is the French 1932 Helicron. To start with, its body was converted from a Rosengart (a defunct make of French car) by spinning it 180 degrees so that it steers from the rear. The front wheels are not sprung and always face straight forward. And, there is no transmission or gearbox.

Why no transmission? Well, the Helicron is powered by a huge propeller on the nose of the car. Envision an airplane without wings, and you will be right there. The wheels merely hold the car body off of the ground but provide no propulsion.

While this system reduces the need for air-conditioning in the car, there are a few minor drawbacks. The propeller, especially if the car is facing uphill, does not have enough umph to get the car moving from a rest, so the driver has to get out and push the car to gain some momentum and then jump into his seat (fortunately, the hand brake and accelerator--whose sole function is to raise or lower the RPMs of the engine and propeller--are accessible both inside and outside of the car). Acceleration is pathetic, and 0 to 60 MPH would be measured in minutes, not seconds, if only the car was even capable of exceeding 50 MPH. There is no reverse gear, and the driver backs up the vehicle by--you guessed it--getting out and pushing it. The steering is very loose, the car drifts, and the driver does not really steer the auto--it is more that he instead makes suggestions to it. And finally, there is the issue of the propeller itself. Remember the scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the Nazi pugilist and a spinning airplane propeller attempt to occupy the same space at the same time? Ditto with any unfortunate pedestrian, June bug, or bicyclist who encounters the front of the Helicron--the victim would be puréed instantly. It would be simply offal. 

The Helicron owned by the Lane Motor Museum was restored in 2000 from a pile of parts found in a dusty barn. It is all original, except that the engine could not be located and was replaced with a more modern Citroën GS flat-four. There is one other known example of the Helicron, and it is in the Automobile and Fashion Museum of Málaga, Spain.

Surprisingly enough, the machine is street-legal both in its old home in France and in its current one in Tennessee. While your new ride purchased in the USA must comply with over 900 pages of regulations imposed by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, a car from the 1930s with a propeller in the front is lawfully free to ply its trade.

The Lane Motor Museum kindly has provided access to a video of the Helicron valiantly attempting to conquer the rolling hills of Tennessee. On the other hand, if your cup of tea runs more to watching the Helicron's blade vaporize hot dogs into minute gobbets of salty fat, you will want to view instead the demonstration by Jason Torchinsky of Jalopnik.