Friday, February 28, 2025
THE TERRIFYING TARDIGRADES
Thursday, February 27, 2025
THE CUR VARIABLE
Wednesday, February 26, 2025
THE DARK SIDE OF DR. LUKE BLACKBURN
Tuesday, February 25, 2025
58% SHADES OF GRAY
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Screen shot from Call of Duty United Offensive copyright Activision--all rights reserved |
Monday, February 24, 2025
THE SCATOLOGICAL IMPACT OF "PSYCHO"
Sunday, February 23, 2025
THE CORSAIR COWBOY
Blackbeard. Calico Jack. William Kidd. Henry Morgan. Basil Hood. These are just a few of the names of infamous cutthroat captains who terrorized the seas during the golden age of piracy.
Uh, wait a minute--perhaps Basil Hood does not truly belong in the pantheon of pirate greats after all. To appreciate Hood's achievements, one must first be aware that despite common tropes in movies and books about buccaneers, these nautical robbers did not confine their plunder merely to gold, silver, jewels, and ransomable noblepersons (in fact, Blackbeard's last haul was a chest of medical supplies for his venereal disease-ridden crew). Any merchantable commodity was fair game, including items such as sugar, lumber, and hides--although precious metals and jewels were of course never rejected should the opportunity to secure them present itself.
Basil Hood decided to dabble in stealing hides--however, he unfortunately chose to take them while they were still being used by their original owners. In other words, Hood aspired to be a cattle rustler. In 1713, he and his crew went ashore and seized a herd of bovines from some very surprised and unresisting farmers and drove them (the cattle, that is--not the farmers) into the hold of his ship with the intent of transporting and selling them at the next port-of-call.
Unfortunately, had Hook had more experience with cattle, he would have known right off that these were not healthy specimens. Instead, he found himself on a vessel with some very sick cows--cows which manifested their illness both by constant vomiting and diarrhea. And not just a little vomiting or diarrhea--instead, huge quantities described as being ejected with "volcanic" force. Hood and his crew were suffering similar symptoms after being exposed to the terrible miasma emanating from the hold.
In the midst of all this, a British frigate appeared over the horizon. Normally, pirates did not greet British warships with approbation, as no good could come from such an encounter. However, Hood's crew was in no condition to fight, and they were warming to the concept of some peaceful time in confinement without the aroma of cow vomit and feces--even with the knowledge that said confinement would ultimately be terminated by the hangman's noose. Consequently, Hood surrendered his crew and ship. Well, at least he tried to. Once the fastidious frigate commander got upwind of the stench radiating from the festering vessel, he forwent the aromatic prize, abandoned his pursuit, and turned away. Hood was left to go his merry way and in fact was able eventually to dock and sell the pungent livestock--probably while muttering "enough of this BS."
Saturday, February 22, 2025
HOW TO TRANSPORT A GEM
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Public Domain from Wickimedia Commons |
Friday, February 21, 2025
THE AMBIGUOUS AMPHICAR
What drives like a car, cruises like a boat, but does neither all that well? If you looked at the title of this factoid, you probably were able to guess correctly "the Amphicar."
The Amphicar Model 770 was a German-made vehicle marketed between 1961 and 1968. Only 3,878 were manufactured. It was a convertible automobile powered by a mighty Triumph 1147 cc, 43 bhp 4-cylinder engine (the engine displacement was eventually modestly increased, yielding 75 bhp). However, unlike other convertibles, you could drive the car straight into the water, engage two propellers in the rear, and use it as a boat.
Performance as a car was lackadaisical, with a top speed of 70 MPH. The speed as a boat was a leisurely 7 knots. The steering in the boat was not very responsive, as the front wheels served as the only rudder. As a watercraft, it was subject to additional legal requirements such as having registration numbers painted on the side and Coast Guard mandated lights and flags. After each session in the drink, the vehicle required the the greasing at 13 different points and the removal of the rear seat to be able to access all of them.
Why would anyone buy such a contraption? Well, duh, because they were fun! And probably no one had more fun with an Amphicar than President Lyndon Johnson. Johnson loved to take unsuspecting dignitaries for a ride in the car at his ranch, approach a curve by a lake, yell "Oh #%^&, the brakes are gone!" and then go plummeting into the water while his guests screamed in horror.
Those who are currently blessed by possessing an Amphicar can attend "swim-ins" held throughout the warmer months at various locations in the USA. If you want the Amphicar experience without the headaches of owning and maintaining one, Walt Disney Springs in Orlando will provide you and two others in your group with a ride in a modified version for $125.
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I, Dontworry, CC BY-SA 3.0 <http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/>, via Wikimedia Commons |
Thursday, February 20, 2025
ANOTHER CRITTER WHO SLEEPS WHEREVER IT WANTS
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By John Megahan [CC BY 2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons |
*The skilled hunting included tossing a red-hot rock at the moa, who would ingest it and roast itself internally. Remember, I said that moas were big. I did not say that they were intelligent.
Wednesday, February 19, 2025
THE PUBLIC SERVICE OF DR. KELLOGG
For more information on the medical philosophy of Dr. Kellogg and other modes of treatment he advocated when the corn flakes didn't work, click here for an insightful article on the subject by mental_floss.
Tuesday, February 18, 2025
MARKETING IS EVERYTHING
Monday, February 17, 2025
CASTOREUM--OUR FRIEND THE BEAVER
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Steve from Washington, DC, USA, CC BY-SA 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons |
Castoreum, as the term is used by zoologists, refers to a mixture of beaver urine and the yellow secretion of scent sacs found between the anus and genitals of the adult beaver. Beavers use the substance to mark their territories.
Sunday, February 16, 2025
JFK'S PAL
Saturday, February 15, 2025
"REVENGE OF THE NERDS" DUNG BEETLE STYLE
As with humans, there can be different phenotypes for certain species of male dung beetles.
Friday, February 14, 2025
T.R.--"THIS HOLIDAY SUCKS"
As a result, the bereaved Roosevelt abandoned politics for a few years and fled to the Dakota Badlands to pursue ranching and hunting.
Thursday, February 13, 2025
O.J.'S LOST OPPORTUNITY FOR METHOD ACTING
Wednesday, February 12, 2025
LINCOLN'S DUEL
History might have been quite different had he actually done so. However, a mutual friend also rowed out to the island and talked the parties out of the combat. The fact that Lincoln cut off a branch of tree high above him with his sword to demonstrate his long reach probably also was a factor in convincing Shields to abandon the duel. Twenty years later, Lincoln signed a commission appointing Shields as a brigadier general in the Union Army.
An account of Abe's altercation can be found in the children's book Abraham Lincoln's Dueling Words as well as in the blog of the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum (which is a cool place to visit if you are ever in Springfield, Illinois).
*"Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it."--George Santayana
Tuesday, February 11, 2025
THOMAS GRANGER AND HIS EMBRACEABLE EWE
Monday, February 10, 2025
HITLER'S SECRET WEAPON
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D-ration photo courtesy of Hershey Community Archives at http://www.hersheyarchives.org/ |
Sunday, February 9, 2025
THE ECSTASY OF CASU MARZU
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By Shardan (Own work) [CC BY-SA 2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons |
Saturday, February 8, 2025
THE CRANIAL FOB INTERACTION
*Kinda makes you wonder what keeping a cell phone pressed to your head for long periods of time is doing to those ions in your brain, doesn't it?