It was a glorious day in Fruita, Colorado on September 10, 1945. World War II was over. The nation was giddy and optimistic. Clara Olsen was going to prepare her famous fried chicken to celebrate. She sent her husband, Lloyd, on a routine mission to the barnyard to invite a young and succulent Wyandotte rooster to dinner. Armed with his trusty decapitating axe, Lloyd grabbed a chicken and cut off his head. As expected, the fowl ran around like a chicken with his head cut off. And then ran some more. And then attempted to preen himself. And then pecked for food (but not very efficiently, as he had no bill). And then engaged in all of the fowlish behavior chickens normally do when they have not been decapitated. His rooster's crow, however, sounded like a gargle.
Somewhat bemused by this turn of events, the Olsens did not transfer the chicken, now named Mike, to the skillet. Lloyd began to water Mike with an eyedropper and feed him by dropping corn directly into his exposed esophagus. Mike thrived and continued to act like a regular chicken. He eventually gained weight from the two and a half pounds of the heady days of his youth to nearly eight.
Under the belief that Mike's condition was rather unusual, the Olsens hired a manager, and they all took Mike on the road to venues throughout the country and charged a quarter for people to view him. Mike was bringing in $4,500 a month (almost $60,000 in 2014 dollars, which ain't chicken feed). The Olsens even obtained a $10,000 insurance policy on his life.
Lamentably, at a motel in Arizona, a piece of corn got lodged in Mike's windpipe. Lloyd attempted to pullet out in time but could not do so, as he did not have the proper tools with him. The chicken who had an amazing eighteen months of life without a head died an a-maize-ing breathtaking death. He is still revered by the people in the town of Fruita, who hold an annual "Mike the Headless Chicken Festival" the third week in May.
Oh, and Mike's head? It ended up in the belly of a barnyard cat. The Olsens and their manager took the head of another hapless chicken with them on the road as a prop to display in place of the original.
2 comments:
I appreciate your use of puns.
Thank you very much. I was concerned that the puns about his demise might be a little too corny.
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