Saturday, May 28, 2016

THE UNREPENTANT SAFECRACKER


The Christ Church Burial Ground in Philadelphia is an old hoary cemetery, full of weathered marble tombstones, with a substantial number of them eroded to illegibility. Many of them are over two centuries old. The graveyard includes as its occupants several military heroes and five signers of the Declaration of Independence--Benjamin Franklin being one of them.

In the middle of this solemn aura of antiquity is the discordant note of a shiny modern granite headstone engraved "GERALD J. CONNELLY JR... SON OF ANNIE LAURIE WEBB OF VIRGINIA... SEAMAN... SOLDIER... SAFECRACKER... DEC. 5, 1927 -- AUG. 21, 1991". Also included on the stone are sigils representing each of the three occupations listed.

How did this modern person of possibly questionable virtue come to share eternity near some of the most iconic historical figures of America? 

Well, you should know, first of all, that although Connelly was an extremely competent safecracker, he plied his trade for good, not evil. He was a renowned locksmith who advised the government on security issues and opened up the safes of scalawags after they had been seized for evidence in criminal investigations. He also served in the Merchant Marine and was an infantryman in WWII and the Korean War. 

The second thing you should know is that Connelly served on the Christ Church board of directors and was able to research records contained therein dating back to 1695. He was thus able to discover that there was a two person plot still available in the cemetery, which he acquired for use by himself and his wife.

Third, you should know that Connelly had a sense of humor. He wore a coat and tie to the church meetings but included a Mickey Mouse label pin as part of his sartorial elegance. He requested that he be buried in a tuxedo and cowboy hat with a pack of Kent cigarettes while holding a Bible in his right hand. As a final departing gesture, he dictated what he wanted on his tombstone.

For more info about Connelley's grave situation, click here.


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